Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing

Yesterday, I reviewed test corrections with my 4th grade math class.

One of the problems read, "School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she start for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"

Being short on time, I was trying to rush through the corrections and accidentally read,
"School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she fart...errr....I mean...start...for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"

Giggle snorts ensued.

Especially the boys.

And with 7 boys in my class and only 1 girl...it became evident quite quickly that I had
lost. complete. control.

{Through no fault of my own, I have become the class clown.}

The Sunday Funnies

On Thursday, we were at Jordyn's state swim meet...all the day long. Whilst we were there, Savvy called to inform me that there was absolutely no one in the neighborhood who could play. She was so bummed.

Then she added an interesting tidbit about Brother X who answered the door without his shirt on and no "g"'s either!

Savvy said, "I could even see his nibbles!"

"Good grief, Savvy! It's times like these where you avert. your. eyes!" I said.

"And his chest was hairy too," she added. "Not as hairy as daddy's though."

{I know, I know, TMI.}

{P.S. If I ever had a pet rabbit, I'm pretty sure I'd name him Nibbles}

Like Father, Like Indie

Ever since Auzy discovered the Indiana Jones trilogy,
he's become a little obsessed.

He watches it All. Of. The. Time.

Even if we are just driving to school--he has it on listening to every word like it is the true and everlasting gospel.

Last night, I overheard him talking to Savvy.

Auzy asked, "Dontcha think Indiana Jones looks just like Dad?"

Savvy said, "Not really."

"He so does!" Auzy argued.

Savvy sighed.

I had to laugh when I heard his
final argument.

"C'mon Savvy! He does! I mean picture it if Dad was older, his eyes were smaller, he was more muscley, he swore more, he didn't wear glasses, and he had a hat and a whip--he would totally
look like Indiana Jones."

Gym Shenanigans

In January, El Jefe and I joined a gym only 1 mile away from our house--that truly was the selling point for us. Now, it's a tiny little gym...which has it's positives and negatives. One positive is it is never crowded. On any given morning there are between 4-7 people working out.

{Yes, it is quite the large group.}

The downside is--because there is not a large group of people anything you do or say will be remembered for a very long time.

Naturally, because of this fact--I try not to do anything too embarrassing. And naturally, {look at the title of my blog people} shenanigans are bound to happen.

On Monday, El Jefe and I headed to the gym. I was quite excited about the music I had just uploaded to my I-Pod. I had put Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying", in the top spot--which is kind of ironic cause I was not his biggest fan on American Idol--but I have a great love for that song.

Anyway, I hopped up on that treadmill ready to work my little heart out--and pushed play on the I-pod. I was already working it by the time El Jefe got on the treadmill--and good old Kris was singing--"Gotta live like we're dying..."

{A quirk of mine (among many) is that I listen to my music extremely loud. I mostly do this to muffle the grunts from the muscle-men lifting weights. It also distracts me from quitting mid-stream--cause the whole time I'm thinking--man, my ears hurt--instead of--I think I stopped breathing 10 minutes ago.}

So, as El Jefe started up his treadmill--with my music blaring--I looked at him and whispered, "Live like we're dyin!"

El Jefe's eyes got real big--and he gave me the "Shhh" signal.

I took my earphone out and whispered, "What?"

He said, "You just yelled 'Live like we're dyin!' as loud as you could."

I informed him that I whispered.

He informed me that my whispering sounded a lot like yelling.

As I looked around, I started giggling--the lady next to us was not listening to music, another lady was reading her scriptures only in Utah as she ellipticalized herself--again no music, and the dudes lifting weights were definitely not listening to music--but they were doing some awesome synchronized grunting.

That day, I discovered a few key things that I shall never forget. 1) No more whispering talking while music is playing in my ears. 2) It's really hard to run when you are giggle-snorting & blushing.
3) Ya gotta live like your dyin!

For your listening pleasure...

PS Got any favorite workout songs? I'd love to add em' to my collection...and I promise I won't try to sing them at the gym.

The Sunday Funnies

Yesterday, we spent most of the day at a swim meet in Park City.

After the meet was over, we decided to head over to Midway to see some fabulous ice sculptures at the Zermatt Resort that Petal had told me about.


Petal had checked it out the day before, and gave us some directions on how to get there.

We stopped and ate lunch in Heber and then headed to our destination.

Since I'm directionally challenged--I decided to plug in the name of the Zermatt Resort into our GPS. {Even though El Jefe said he knew where he was going and didn't need the extra help}.

El Jefe followed the directions, and kept saying, "What did you type in? Are you sure you entered the right name?"


On the outskirts of Heber, he veered off the course, took a hard right and said, "This GPS is taking us to Provo."

He continued on until we hit Midway's main street, turned left, turned right, and we were there in no time (well..minus the 10 minutes we headed in the wrong direction).


Then El Jefe decided to look and see what I had inputed into the GPS.

"Honey, why did you put in 'Zermatt Villages?" he asked.

"Isn't that the same thing?" I said.

He replied, "The Zermatt Villages are in Orem."

Ohhhh...


It was then I decided that having El Jefe around is like having my own personal GPS.

(And to all you jealous ladies...it's true--he never needs to stop and ask for directions...it's like it's internal or something).

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Science Fair Shenanigans

Our school does science fair in 5th, 7th and 9th. Since I have two 5th graders and one 9th grader -- we ended up having 3 science fair entries.

{Oh the joy}

I helped the kids find their projects and then told El Jefe that he was in charge of helping Auz and I'd help Savvy with hers...the teenager was on her own.

We started our projects way back in October. Auz made homemade parachutes to see if size and weight mattered. Savvy burned fabric...to see which types burned the quickest.

It was a long and a bit time consuming few months. But, we did it. And the kids seemed to have a fun time with it.

When it came time to make the poster boards...El Jefe bowed out and said that was my gig. But, not to "make them look too good--because we don't want to make it through to the next round."

I agreed.

To El Jefe's dismay, in January Savvy found out that her experiment (along with 9 other 5th graders) had made it to district--a 5 hour fun-filled event.


She was thrilled.

{And in my defense, I told El Jefe that scientifically the odds were not in our favor to not have at least one of our children make it. Of course, I also rubbed it in that the one I helped with was a winner! Yes!}

Yesterday, was the big day.

*We arrived at Utah Valley University at
4 pm to check in.

*We took a wrong turn and ended up at the door of the Chemistry building--which said only authorized personnel, hiked up a grassy, muddy hill alongside the Chemistry building, & found the student center.

*Savvy interviewed 3 different times
between 5-7 pm.

*I read my book.

*Savvy got to run around with a
couple of her BFF's.

*I talked to other mom's who were
enjoying their stay at UVU, Home of the Wolverines.

*Savvy got to participate in some fun
science activities.

*I discovered that I forgot to bring
the stinking camera.

*We ate lunch at the UVU student center--which Savvy thought was the most amazing place ever--they even had free computers to use!

*I informed her that BYU was
way more amazing.

*We watched a cute chemistry magic show.

AND

*Finally, it was time for the awards ceremony.

Now, I had seen all of the science experiments, and I knew she didn't have a fighting chance. There was a big difference between projects helped by fathers who had a science background from the projects helped by mothers who didn't (i.e. me).

There was the coolest windmill experiment. But, I'm telling you right now--I read it and still don't understand it.

I also saw a lot of solar panel experiments. Again. Out. of. our. league.

My favorite was this electrocution experiment...at least I was smart enough not to stick my hand into that thing.

At the end of the awards ceremony, Savvy seemed pretty sad that she didn't move onto state.

At this point, I passed on some valuable information to my child. Information more valuable then learning how to create solar panels, designing a hovercraft, or even creating a hologram machine.

I taught her the phrase, "It was an honor just being nominated."

Appreciating my wisdom, she replied, "You're such a nerd, Mom."

Then we headed to In-and-Out for life-lesson #2.

Shakes, burgers, and fries solve all your problems.

{I know. I'm amazing.}

PS My biggest laugh of the night, was when El Jefe and I were looking at all the science fair projects. As we approached Savvy's, there was a group of 4-5 girls checking it out (it did have lots of girl appeal). El Jefe stood right behind them and said very loudly, "Oh. Fabric burning. What a cool idea. Man, this is an awesome project. Wow! This should totally win!" The little girls were giggling and trying to move out of his way--they might have thought he was a judge--or just a crazy person. I finally said, "You should know, this is his daughter's experiment--and he's quite proud." Then they really giggled.

Recently Played

So, one of my favorite songs used to be "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum.

Then, the other day...I heard Auz singing it around the house, "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now."

What in the?

"Auz! Why are you singing that?" I asked.

"Uh, Mom, every time that song comes on--you turn it up really loud and it's a catchy tune," he answered, and kept singing.


Somehow, hearing my 11-year-old singing about getting drunk and needing someone--has kinda ruined the song for me.

{Guess I'll be deleting that one off of
my I-tunes library.}