I know, I know...I made a commitment to journaling blogging for 6 weeks...and I've stunk up that goal for the past 2 weeks...but cut me some slack. I've been kinda busy.
So busy...that I still haven't gotten all of my Christmas out yet. I'd say forget about it-because it's already the 8th. But, it's the most important part of Christmas...the nativities, my garland on the stairs, and the front porch stuff.
So busy...that my pumpkins just barely got thrown away this morning...and only then because it was garbage day. On the upside, I've made room for Christmas decor by getting rid of the leaking, stinkin,' juice-leaving pumpkins.
So busy...that my house looks like it's been bombed by terrorists...and today after cleaning for 3 hours...it only looks a little bit better...I need an intervention...and by intervention--I mean a maid.
So busy...that I started Christmas shopping like gang-busters over Thanksgiving break...and haven't given it a second thought...even though I'm only half way finished!
So busy...that I can't even think of a good ending for this post.
How bout' a picture...remembering the good times...
{This was taken before the busy-ness hit. Don't I look so happy & carefree..and a little sassy...?}
PS Check out the background shenanigans...Ali said, "Don't look at the camera"...Auz took it literally.
A watched pot never boils...until EVERYONE that has been watching it, looks away. Then it boils over.
I really like banana cream pie.
Black Friday shopping with your teenager is a good time. She was so excited to go that she woke up at 330 AM without complaint. She rocked those sales...and is already talking about going next year. Do you see the monster I have created?
I really like lemon meringue pie.
The sign of a successful Thanksgiving Dinner...is discarding your belt at the end of the day because you no longer need it...I am gonna be hating the scale Monday morn!
I love playing games with family!
We saw "Megamind" with the kids and cousins on Friday. When the credits were rolling, my nephew said, "Who's Brad Pitt?" Austin replied, "He's a famous country singer." Am I the only one who finds humor in the fact that he's confused Brangelina with the down to earth Brad Paisley?"
I really like creamy chocolate heath bar trifle.
I hate the game Risk because it takes forEVER! On Thanksgiving, our (almost 4 hour) Phase 10 game lasted LONGER than Risk. {PS I'm no longer a fan of Phase 10.}
I really like homemade rolls (and by homemade...I'm not talking about Rhodes rolls...which is what MY children think homemade rolls are).
Jordyn posted in her facebook about our early morning trip to "Frank Meyer's"...poor Fred..why does Frank always leave him out?
Thanksgiving dinner...mmm!
When we got to Idaho, we figured the state hadn't heard about snow plows. The roads around here are terribly snow packed. THEN on Black Friday morning...Jordyn and I saw a whole slew of snow plows driving around town...with their plows up. What the?
I love this quote I heard from a friend that said, "Without Thanksgiving...we'd go from gimme candy to gimme presents. "
Jordyn and I hit the Black Friday shopping today. It was her first time going...and when I woke her up this morn at 3:30, she was so excited to go...that she jumped out of bed and got ready faster than me!
Between the hours of 4 AM- 10 AM we made out like bandits at: Target Kmart Joanne's Fred Meyer's Utahns...do you remember Fred Meyer's? They still have em' in Idaho JCPenney Sears Old Navy McDonald's...for a rejuvenating pit-stop Sally's Beauty Supply back to Target back to Kmart back to Sally's... ...and finally...home again, home again, jiggity jig!
We bought almost everything on our list! The only thing we didn't get was the Zebra Snuggie advertised at FM...and I'm still questioning if that's really a bad thing.
Reasons why it's super fun to go Black Friday shopping with your teenager:
*That darling girl stood in lines for me all day. *She ran around and found deals for me.
*She kept an amusing conversation going all morning. *She laughed at all of my jokes...even when they weren't funny...I'm guessing it was due to lack of sleep...but whatev.
*Throughout all of my bad driving moments...all 3 of them...she had the funniest excuses I could tell the policemen if I got pulled over. My fave was, "I'm sorry Officer, but we're from out of town and my daughter is sick. Where's the nearest hospital? Ohhhh! You want to escort us there? Ummmm...Could we swing by Kmart first?" *She had me try on the most darling hat at Target (just like Petal's)...told me how cute I looked...then talked me into buying it because now I had fly-away-nasty-hat hair.
*She let me eat half of her Cina-Melt...cuz she knew I really wanted one..but didn't order one for myself cuz I was trying to be good. *My second favorite bad driving excuse, "I'm sorry Officer, we're new in town, and our GPS told us to turn down this one way street (which it seriously did).
*Tonight, as we were reporting our good deals to my sis-in-law...we discovered that Twin Falls actually has a Walmart (which we used to have to drive to Jerome for it...and so we opted out this year). Jordyn said, "There's a Walmart in Twin? Let's go! We can't miss out on those deals!" It's so rewarding to see your daughter follow in your Black Friday footsteps.
So big, El Jefe came home from work early...and is planning on working from home tomorrow.
So big, that several places I went to today had signs in their windows saying they were closing at 5 pm due to the pending storm.
So big, that I was talking to my sister earlier today and she told me that all of the universities and colleges were canceling classes tomorrow.
For a storm that hasn't hit yet.
Jilly said, "We live in Utah, people. It snows every year. What's the big deal? They're acting like it's Y2K!"
I had to agree.
{At least until tomorrow, when I'm living in a snow cave, and all those gloom and doomers say, "I told you so!"}
I think Savvy summed it up best when she called home from her bestie's house and asked, "Mom! Is the storm here yet?"
"Look out the window and see for yourself," I kindly said.
"We are looking at the window, and we don't see anything happening," she answered.
P.S. It's times like this that I wish I lived a little bit closer to my sister, Jilly, cause she's the one with all the food storage. I don't think my year supply of gum & diet coke is going to cut it.
P.S.S. Jordyn's swim coach is also feeling the pain of the storm...here's an email we just received updating us about practice today and tomorrow.
I laughed out loud.
"Due to the oncoming biggest storm in the history of Utah, Dimple Dell will be closed tomorrow morning. We will have to cancel morning practice because of this. In the unlikely event that we are able to dig out of our snow caves, we will plan on having practice Wednesday afternoon at 3 pm for those that will still be in town. If you have the chance to flee the oncoming carnage, have a great holiday. Those of us left in town will adopt the survival techniques of the Eskimos to get by."
After I got off work today, I had to run a couple of errands.
Once I was finished running around like a lunatic, I realized that I was starving and it was almost time to pick up kids.
So I swung by In-N-Out...for a tasty lettuce wrapped burger (cause I'm trying not to eat carbs) and a delightful french fry (d'ya think I canceled out the wicked deep fry carb by not eating the bun carb? Prolly not.)
I quickly ate the messy deliciousness in the van, disposed of the evidence, and then headed home to pick up my first child of the carpool, Jordyn.
As Jordyn got into the car, she said, "What's that smell?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied.
"It smells like you ate at Wendy's," she said.
"Nope," I answered.
Petal's son, Ian, was also with us. He said, "Nah, it smells more like Arby's to me."
Once again, I denied the smell.
After I dropped them off at swim team practice, I had to pick up my twins from school.
Savvy was the first to hop in.
Savvy said, "What's that smell? Did you go to Sonic without us?"
"Nope. I don't know what you're talking about," I answered.
Finally, Auz got in.
"So, Mom, did you bring me a hamburger from In-N-Out?" he asked.
For the past couple of weeks, my twins have been working on rough drafts for a Paul Revere Essay contest.
Each 6th grader at their school is required to submit "Paul Revere's Memoirs" which will be entered into a contest. It counts as part of their grade in their respective Language Arts classes.
One of the requirements is the essay must be 600-1000 words.
Savvy finished writing her essay last week. She actually had to edit out some words because it exceeded the 1000 word limit.
Auz, on the other hand, could barely eek out the required 600.
When he was finished, I asked him if he wanted to try to come up with a bit more information.
He replied, "Mom, the more words I write--the higher chance I have in making spelling and grammar errors...which will give me a lower grade. The way I see it, the odds of me getting a good grade on my essay are higher if I write the LEAST amount of words possible."
His ambition amazes me.
"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other." Abraham Lincoln
We're going to see the new Harry Potter movie tonight--courtesy of our insurance agency.
I should clarify.
We are going courtesy of an insurance agent whom we've never met, but who invited us to his HP party.
Last month, we got a postcard in the mail inviting us to his HP party...it was engraved with our names and everything.
There was a 200 person max...first call, first served. SO, El Jefe called immediately and got our family on the HP party list....I should note that the party is complete with drinks & popcorn too!
We are supposed to arrive an hour early...for their sales pitch to up your premium for giveaways and such.
It seems to good to be true doesn't it?
If you ask me, it sounds like a shenanigan waiting to happen.
I'll keep you posted.
{So help me if its one of those time-share presentations where you pledge your first born, plus next year's salary...El Jefe's in major trouble.}
1. Ever since I've lost {50 lbs-woot-woot} weight, I've started noticing wrinkles around my mouth when I smile. Is fat the new Botox?
2. Why does it seem like the troublemakers at recess are the ones in the Skeleton zip up hoodies? {I think I just solved my own mystery}.
3. Does Sonic hate me? They've stopped serving caffeine free diet coke! How can I justify getting {the occasional} imitation diet coke fix...if it's not imitation anymore?
4. Why am I either 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late...never on time? Could it be that not one of my many clocks says the same time?
5. Am I the only one who has been listening to Christmas music since Halloween?
Yesterday, my vacuum sucked. Actually, it wouldn't suck...that was the problem.
Being the slave-driving mother that I am, I decided to unclog it--so my darling little Cinderella mouse could finish her vacuuming.
Once I had found the clogging culprit (a pumice stone no less!), I attempted to show my family how I had singlehandedly fixed the vacuum. I did this by turning the vacuum on, and sucking my cheek the one on my face into the vacuum attachment.
I thought it had quite a humorous effect.
Until the teenager said, "You're going to give yourself a hickey, Fool."
Savvy said, "What's a hickey?"
El Jefe said, "It's a bruise."
Then Savvy knowingly said, "Oh, I know what a hickey is. It's from hormones."
We all laughed.
{Needless to say, I immediately stopped the "sucking my cheek up in the vacuum" joke.}
P.S. I didn't mention how I got the pumice stone out of the vacuum hose because it ruined the flow of the story. Let's just say, it involved cutting the hose open (like you would if you were saving an infant stuck inside a boa constrictor). After I surgically removed the stone from the vacuum, I then duct-taped the hole shut. Call me MacGyveror just call me white-trash, but you can fix anything with duct-tape. I'm just sayin'.
{I promise this is the last of the robbing saga. I know I've milked it for all its worth.}
When my purse was stolen, so were our library cards (mine, Savvy's and Auz's).
Now, I'm not the type of person who loses library cards and then immediately replaces them. Mostly because I've memorized the numbers on the cards and can just enter the code by hand.
Case in point, Jordyn's library card. Her card has been lost for about 2 years. Anytime she needs to use her card, I just enter it in for her. I'm smart like that.
And it's not like I was worried that the thief was going to check out Jane Austen's entire series of books and never return them.
But, the library does have CD's and DVD's that an enterprising thief could check out..and then sell on Craigslist...which is where I think the criminal sold my stuff.
So, on Saturday I went into the library to pick up {Austin's Paul Revere book that he absolutely had to have for Monday} some things on hold.
I decided to be on the safe side and talk to the librarian about replacing the library cards. This is what I found out.
*Collectively, our 4 cards had about $15 worth of fines. Which I paid. {I like to call it my annual donation to the library.}
*Each card was $3 to replace.
*They would only let me replace MY card. The children needed to be present to receive their own. Which I could totally understand. I mean, here I was...a suspicious character...owing fines upwards of $20, claiming my wallet was lost...I could totally be pretending to be the mother of those delinquent children who had racked up all of the fines...that I was now paying for.
So, she cancelled my kid's cards. I gave her my fine money, replaced my card, and left.
Yesterday, while I was cleaning off the phone cupboard (my VT's were coming and you never know where they may look during their cleaning inspection), I discovered the 3 "stolen" library cards that I thought were in my purse.
I wonder what other things I'm missing that I've been blaming on those poor thieves?
I forgot I wasn't updating my Facebook status. I'm thinking that keeping a daily Facebooking journal would be much easier for me to do...than this daily blogging goal.
Anyway, I really am taking my kids out for a one mile run.
I haven't ran since September 7th. Yes, I remember the exact date, because it was the day my sis-in-law, Ali and I ran the Swiss Days 10K.
It was also the day I injured my leg so badly that I couldn't even walk around and shop at the Swiss Days craft fair afterwards.
A crying shame, I tell you!
Not to worry, I ended up taking Ali's prescription IBU 800...which kicked in after about a 1/2 hour and worked like a dream (just in time for the Park City outlets...much to my hubs dismay).
You may note that a 10K is much farther than a one mile run.
I'll let you know how it goes. (For now, I'm heading over to Facebook to update my status)
Post Edit: Just got back. I totally tricked my kids and we ran out a mile...and then back for a total of 2 miles.
I guess I should say we ran a good, solid mile out.
Then, Savvy, realizing she'd been duped into running 2 miles started walking and said, "I can't do it! We're so far from our car!"
I said, "Honey, we are less than a mile away."
She replied, "That's like 5280 feet!!!!"
Needless to say, she was not happy with her tricky mother.
{I, on the other hand, was pretty impressed that she threw down that 5280 feet fact.}
{I guess I'm still trying to get the hang of this blogging daily plan..so I missed a few days. But, one thing I'm for sure starting back up is the Sunday Funnies...cause my family seriously cracks me up...I'm just a day late this time around.}
My twins turned 12 last month. It was a sad occasion for me. It made me feel really old that my babies were going into YW's and YM's!
One really cool thing about turning 12, was Auz received the priesthood.
He passed the sacrament for the first time a couple of weeks ago.
It happened to be the day of the primary program. {I'm thinking passing the sacrament on primary program day has got to be a toughie for even the most seasoned deacon.} I was nervous for him.
When it came time for the sacrament, I watched my boy like a hawk. He led the deacons out, and headed up to the stand to pass it to the bishopric.
Heart palpitations ensued!
"Did they tell him to pass to the bishop first?" I whispered to El Jefe. {I'm pretty sure El Jefe rolled his eyes at me...but I was too jittery to care.}
Whew. He did it!
Then he walked over to the primary pianist and served her.
Finally, he came down our side. He passed that bread like a pro.
Now, it was time for the water.
He walked very, very, very slowly, trying not to spill the tray. It was pretty cute.
We were sitting on the second to the last row, and by the time he got to us the water was almost gone. I ended up taking the last cup.
Luckily, one of the other deacons had already served the row behind us.
I figured Auz had seen him too.
Unfortunately, he hadn't.
He took that empty tray and attempted to pass it to the cute elderly man behind us. They informed him they had already been served the sacrament.
Auz got back in line with the rest of the deacons.
After sacrament meeting was over, the cute elderly couple behind us said, "You're son did a real good job on passing the sacrament for the first time. Except for that part where he tried to pass us an empty tray."
1. Even though I wear super-cheapo makeup...that Maybelline stuff adds up! Replacing the makeup and my makeup bag cost about $60...sheesh!
2. Tuesday was election day. I was totally planning on voting that afternoon. {I mean, I was seriously informed about the candidates...just ask the dude I wrote in for governor.} Then, I realized I needed my drivers license to vote. Stinkin' thieves must have something against people exercising their civic duty.
3. Since I needed to get my drivers license replaced {see #2}. I had the privilege of going through pain and agony of going to the drivers license bureau...filling out forms, standing in the lines, paying $18...all for a new license...{at least the picture is cuter.}
4. They stole our stinkin' cable that connects our Ipods' to the radio so you can listen to your tunes. I think it would be appropriate to say they totally jacked our jack.
5. I'm secretly thankful that my air compressor has been stolen. Now, I don't have to feel guilty about not using it.
6. Since we had to cancel all of our credit/debit cards, I had no money till my AMEX card came FED EX on Tuesday afternoon. {El Jefe the budgeteer was grateful for the two day spending freeze}.
7. It was heart warming to see the thieves show a little bit of integrity. Even though they stole all of our CD's in the jockey box...they left behind my {LDS} Hilary Weeks CD. The irony. I'm sure they were afraid of accidentally listening to it and being inspired to CTR.
8. The thieves have created a little bit of an obsessive/compulsive disorder in my whole family. I hear the garage door being checked at least 10 times a night. If only they could become obsessive/compulsive about cleaning. Is there such a thing as a cleaning thief?
9. Those opportunistic thieves so picked the wrong garage to break into...I mean seriously...we're white trash surrounded by richies.
10. Speaking of white trash, I'm pretty sure the cops didn't believe me when I told them the thieves totally trashed our garage. Maybe it was the scattered junk--intermingled with the sawdust?
It actually happened on Halloween eve (which was Utah's Halloween night).
El Jefe had forgotten and left his car parked in front of the house. He never locks it cause it's a piece of junk. El Jefe has said many a time, "Not even a thief would want this car."
Well, he was right. The thieves didn't want his car. {After all, the key was in the ignition.} But, they did want his cheap, left handed..the jokes on them golf clubs in the trunk, his CD's, and the use of his garage door opener.
Once the bandits made it inside the garage, they had a hey-day, seeing as my van also wasn't locked. So, they got away with my purse (with a whole 10 dollars cash in it), CD's, phone and DS chargers.
But, the most insulting thing of all? They stole my makeup-bag. My cheap, full of crappy make-up, bag. {I told the police officer that they picked the cheapest, poorest garage in the neighborhood to rob...I bet they were super disappointed with their limited cache}.
The only high ticket item they stole was my air compressor. Now, that was a serious bummer. I mean, sure I haven't used it in a couple of years...but it was nice to know that if I ever had time to use my nail gun...that I could.
The most disappointing part of this robbery was they didn't even have the creativity to steal a pumpkin off our porch. Haven't they ever watched "The Great Pumpkin Thief?" I'll be honest, if they had stole a pumpkin--it would've made this annoying trick a tiny bit of a treat.
Auz's Language Art class got in a bit of trouble last week. As a result, they had to write a 5 paragraph essay about the consequences of talking.
The assignment was given last week.
It is due today.
Naturally, being his mother's son, he started it last night.
After reading it, and laughing out loud a couple of times, I decided I had to share.
Consequences
By Auz H.
Today in Mrs. McCormick’s L.A. class we got 3 strikes. Strikes, are marks on the board that we get if we talk while the teacher is talking or disrespect a substitute. I know why we got three strikes. It was because we talked a lot. Now I know that our class likes to talk, but this time they forgot that they had two strikes. We hadn’t had a writing assignment in two weeks so that gave Mrs. MrcCormick an idea. She thought that since we usually only have to do a 3 paragraph essay then doing 5 paragraph essay wouldbe terrible.
Now this is pretty fair punishment--if you think of it like the saying about whether the cup of water is half full or half empty. It’s kind of like thinking that if you have to do twice as much your half empty, or saying at least it’s not three times as much or thrice as much whateveryou like--as half full. Also, it could be way worse. It could be 5 pages instead of 5 paragraphs. I’m just saying she could have made it way worse. Now some people would say “but that’s totally unfair it should only be a three paragraph essay since there were only three strikes!”Well those people make me mad. Also, she could have made the due date the next day instead of next week.
Sometimes it’s hard not to talk because LA is basically right when we get to school and we feel the need to talk about all the gossip that has happened since the day before. Something we could do to stop this problem is to save the talking for recess. Another main cause of talking, is when Mrs. McCormick is saying something and it jogs your memory of something that happened over the weekend. People think they have to hurry and say it before they forget. A solution to this problem is either to raise your hand and then share it with the class, or they could just write it down on a piece of paper to save for later.
Now I’m going to tell you about why talking can affect both teachers and students. When you talk you interrupt the entire class. Usually this makes everyone else talk. Then it takes around five minutes to quiet down the class. Not only that, but if it’s really noisy then the teacher has to take time having to write down a strike. Also, if it’s your second strike and then you get another ,the teacher has to write down what your extra assignment is and that takes like 6 minutes. Finally, it affects your homework time too and on top of that you get even more homework from the 3 strikes. It would be a lot easier if we just didn’t talk.
I think it’s important to not get strikes ever again. Maybe Mrs. McCormick could put up a “BE QUIET” sign up on the board to remind us not to talk. She could give us a warning by pointing at it. Also, I’ve decided that it would be a good idea to just sit quietly while the teacher is talking. If our class will just be quiet, then this extra homework will not happen again.
I like a good challenge. In fact, I find it very motivating. Throw in some points and a possible prize...and I'm in it to win it for sure.
So, my sis and I saw this challenge and were too late to join in..but decided to tweak it and make it more applicable to our lives.
The prize? Winner buys the loser dinner. {When Jordyn saw the spreadsheet with everything we were challenging ourselves to do...and then found out the prize was "only" dinner, she said, "That is SO not worth it!" Spoken like a true 15 year old!}
One of our daily points we can earn, is writing in your journal. I've never been much of a journal keeper...I am actually the proud owner of several unfinished journals...ranging the span of age 10 to about age 24. At that point, I gave up even trying. Save the trees and all that.
So, I figured the journaling would likely be a no-pointer every day. Then I remembered one thing I'm I used to be good at though is blogging. And to me blogging is kind of like a journal...so for the next 6 weeks I will be making the time to blog daily...
And who knows...after 6 weeks...it might even be a habit!
On our last night in Cedar City, Savvy and Auz insisted on swimming in the pool--even though it was FREEZING and WINDY.
Only a few fools kids braved the elements.
In the pool, were my two knuckleheads, my dad {who was too nice to say no to the begging}, and three showoffy girls who were doing cartwheels and tricks into the pool.
Grandpa and the twins were having lots of fun diving after dive streamers into the pool, when one of the girls swam over to Savvy and Auz and asked, "What's your names?"
They told her.
Then she said smugly, "Hey, wanna have a race across the pool?"
Savvy and Auz looked at each other and said, "Okay!"
The five of them started at one end and the girl said, "On you mark! Get set! Go!"
The swimming commenced.
Sav and Auz won the race quite easily--and both said, "Let's race again!"
The girl declined.
"Let's do dives instead!" she said.
"Okay," Sav and Auz replied.
My dad and I laughed.
{Those poor girls still didn't realize they were challenging
We are in Cedar City this weekend, watching my kids swim in the Summer Games. Two months ago, when my husband made reservations for a place to stay--he discovered that the motel we are staying at was the last motel in town that wasn't sold out. He booked it. Let's just say it is very retro. Clean. But, retro.
Last night, Savvy and Auz wanted to swim in the cheesy retro motel pool. Grandpa (my dad) and I took them over.
After a 4 hour car trip--Auz was feeling a little wild. He kept trying to dunk my dad! Luckily, my dad has some serious dunking skills--and ended up being the dunker instead of the dunkee most of the time.
At one point, Auz was trying to get away--and my dad grabbed hold of him around his waist. Auz put his hands above his head like an arrow--and started spinning around in circles. He got away pretty quickly.
My dad said, "You were doing the alligator death roll."
Auz replied, "Yup. I learned it on animal planet."
{I don't know what's scarier. The fact that Auz knew to do a death roll as a means of escape--or the fact that my dad knew exactly what he was doing--down to the name.} "Alligator Death Roll" -- who knew?
This afternoon, I stopped by the library to pick up some books on hold.
Auz and Savvy had no desire to go in. So, I told them they could wait in the van. It was a fairly nice day so I opened the sunroof and rolled down their windows.
As I jumped out, I locked the van with my keychain--not thinking about the fact that I had also engaged the alarm.
I had been in the library for about three minutes when I heard a car alarm going off in the parking lot. Figuring it was my two knuckleheads, I speedily checked out and came outside.
Sure enough, Auz had decided to get out of the van and the alarm went off.
I laughed as I saw both of them cowering in the backseat.
Then, Auz told me that a lady had also seen them hiding in the backseat. She asked them what their mom's name was--so she could have me paged in the library or arrested for child neglect.
"And Savvy totally gave up your description and told her your name!" he said.
"You gave my real name? First and last?" I asked.
"Yup," she said. "But, I was under pressure."
It was such a proud moment for a loving, yet neglectful parent.
{I'm so coaching them to give the neighbor's name next time.}
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
Yesterday, I reviewed test corrections with my 4th grade math class.
One of the problems read, "School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she start for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"
Being short on time, I was trying to rush through the corrections and accidentally read, "School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she fart...errr....I mean...start...for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"
Giggle snorts ensued.
Especially the boys.
And with 7 boys in my class and only 1 girl...it became evident quite quickly that I had lost. complete. control.
{Through no fault of my own, I have become the class clown.}
On Thursday, we were at Jordyn's state swim meet...all the day long. Whilst we were there, Savvy called to inform me that there was absolutely no one in the neighborhood who could play. She was so bummed.
Then she added an interesting tidbit about Brother X who answered the door without his shirt on and no "g"'s either!
Savvy said, "I could even see his nibbles!"
"Good grief, Savvy! It's times like these where you avert. your. eyes!" I said.
"And his chest was hairy too," she added. "Not as hairy as daddy's though."
{I know, I know, TMI.}
{P.S. If I ever had a pet rabbit, I'm pretty sure I'd name him Nibbles}
Ever since Auzy discovered the Indiana Jones trilogy, he's become a little obsessed.
He watches it All. Of. The. Time.
Even if we are just driving to school--he has it on listening to every word like it is the true and everlasting gospel.
Last night, I overheard him talking to Savvy.
Auzy asked, "Dontcha think Indiana Jones looks just like Dad?"
Savvy said, "Not really."
"He so does!" Auzy argued.
Savvy sighed.
I had to laugh when I heard his final argument.
"C'mon Savvy! He does! I mean picture it if Dad was older, his eyes were smaller, he was more muscley, he swore more, he didn't wear glasses, and he had a hat and a whip--he would totally look like Indiana Jones."
In January, El Jefe and I joined a gym only 1 mile away from our house--that truly was the selling point for us. Now, it's a tiny little gym...which has it's positives and negatives. One positive is it is never crowded. On any given morning there are between 4-7 people working out.
{Yes, it is quite the large group.}
The downside is--because there is not a large group of people anything you do or say will be remembered for a very long time.
Naturally, because of this fact--I try not to do anything too embarrassing. And naturally, {look at the title of my blog people} shenanigans are bound to happen.
On Monday, El Jefe and I headed to the gym. I was quite excited about the music I had just uploaded to my I-Pod. I had put Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying", in the top spot--which is kind of ironic cause I was not his biggest fan on American Idol--but I have a great love for that song.
Anyway, I hopped up on that treadmill ready to work my little heart out--and pushed play on the I-pod. I was already working it by the time El Jefe got on the treadmill--and good old Kris was singing--"Gotta live like we're dying..."
{A quirk of mine (among many) is that I listen to my music extremely loud. I mostly do this to muffle the grunts from the muscle-men lifting weights. It also distracts me from quitting mid-stream--cause the whole time I'm thinking--man, my ears hurt--instead of--I think I stopped breathing 10 minutes ago.}
So, as El Jefe started up his treadmill--with my music blaring--I looked at him and whispered, "Live like we're dyin!"
El Jefe's eyes got real big--and he gave me the "Shhh" signal.
I took my earphone out and whispered, "What?"
He said, "You just yelled 'Live like we're dyin!' as loud as you could."
I informed him that I whispered.
He informed me that my whispering sounded a lot like yelling.
As I looked around, I started giggling--the lady next to us was not listening to music, another lady was reading her scriptures only in Utah as she ellipticalized herself--again no music, and the dudes lifting weights were definitely not listening to music--but they were doing some awesome synchronized grunting.
That day, I discovered a few key things that I shall never forget. 1) No more whispering talking while music is playing in my ears. 2) It's really hard to run when you are giggle-snorting & blushing. 3) Ya gotta live like your dyin!
For your listening pleasure...
PS Got any favorite workout songs? I'd love to add em' to my collection...and I promise I won't try to sing them at the gym.
Yesterday, we spent most of the day at a swim meet in Park City.
After the meet was over, we decided to head over to Midway to see some fabulous ice sculptures at the Zermatt Resortthat Petal had told me about.
Petal had checked it out the day before, and gave us some directions on how to get there.
We stopped and ate lunch in Heber and then headed to our destination.
Since I'm directionally challenged--I decided to plug in the name of the Zermatt Resort into our GPS. {Even though El Jefe said he knew where he was going and didn't need the extra help}.
El Jefe followed the directions, and kept saying, "What did you type in? Are you sure you entered the right name?"
On the outskirts of Heber, he veered off the course, took a hard right and said, "This GPS is taking us to Provo."
He continued on until we hit Midway's main street, turned left, turned right, and we were there in no time (well..minus the 10 minutes we headed in the wrong direction).
Then El Jefe decided to look and see what I had inputed into the GPS.
"Honey, why did you put in 'Zermatt Villages?" he asked.
"Isn't that the same thing?" I said.
He replied, "The Zermatt Villages are in Orem."
Ohhhh...
It was then I decided that having El Jefe around is like having my own personal GPS.
(And to all you jealous ladies...it's true--he never needs to stop and ask for directions...it's like it's internal or something).
Our school does science fair in 5th, 7th and 9th. Since I have two 5th graders and one 9th grader -- we ended up having 3 science fair entries.
{Oh the joy}
I helped the kids find their projects and then told El Jefe that he was in charge of helping Auz and I'd help Savvy with hers...the teenager was on her own.
We started our projects way back in October. Auz made homemade parachutes to see if size and weight mattered. Savvy burned fabric...to see which types burned the quickest.
It was a long and a bit time consuming few months. But, we did it. And the kids seemed to have a fun time with it.
When it came time to make the poster boards...El Jefe bowed out and said that was my gig. But, not to "make them look too good--because we don't want to make it through to the next round."
I agreed.
To El Jefe's dismay, in January Savvy found out that her experiment (along with 9 other 5th graders) had made it to district--a 5 hour fun-filled event.
She was thrilled.
{And in my defense, I told El Jefe that scientifically the odds were not in our favor to not have at least one of our children make it. Of course, I also rubbed it in that the one I helped with was a winner! Yes!}
Yesterday, was the big day.
*We arrived at Utah Valley University at 4 pm to check in.
*We took a wrong turn and ended up at the door of the Chemistry building--which said only authorized personnel, hiked up a grassy, muddy hill alongside the Chemistry building, & found the student center.
*Savvy interviewed 3 different times between 5-7 pm.
*I read my book.
*Savvy got to run around with a couple of her BFF's.
*I talked to other mom's who were enjoying their stay at UVU, Home of the Wolverines.
*Savvy got to participate in some fun science activities.
*I discovered that I forgot to bring the stinking camera.
*We ate lunch at the UVU student center--which Savvy thought was the most amazing place ever--they even had free computers to use!
*I informed her that BYU was way more amazing.
*We watched a cute chemistry magic show.
AND *Finally, it was time for the awards ceremony.
Now, I had seen all of the science experiments, and I knew she didn't have a fighting chance. There was a big difference between projects helped by fathers who had a science background from the projects helped by mothers who didn't (i.e. me).
There was the coolest windmill experiment. But, I'm telling you right now--I read it and still don't understand it.
I also saw a lot of solar panel experiments. Again. Out. of. our. league.
My favorite was this electrocution experiment...at least I was smart enough not to stick my hand into that thing.
At the end of the awards ceremony, Savvy seemed pretty sad that she didn't move onto state.
At this point, I passed on some valuable information to my child. Information more valuable then learning how to create solar panels, designing a hovercraft, or even creating a hologram machine.
I taught her the phrase, "It was an honor just being nominated."
Appreciating my wisdom, she replied, "You're such a nerd, Mom."
Then we headed to In-and-Out for life-lesson #2.
Shakes, burgers, and fries solve all your problems.
{I know. I'm amazing.}
PS My biggest laugh of the night, was when El Jefe and I were looking at all the science fair projects. As we approached Savvy's, there was a group of 4-5 girls checking it out (it did have lots of girl appeal). El Jefe stood right behind them and said very loudly, "Oh. Fabric burning. What a cool idea. Man, this is an awesome project. Wow! This should totally win!" The little girls were giggling and trying to move out of his way--they might have thought he was a judge--or just a crazy person. I finally said, "You should know, this is his daughter's experiment--and he's quite proud." Then they really giggled.
Last month, I had to have "the talk" with Savvy & Auz about the tooth fairy.
Savvy had lost a tooth...the tooth fairy hadn't come for a week...and she was about to write a letter to the Tooth Fairy Organization.
You see, the tooth fairy always forgets to come to our house until like a month later. Then the kids end up getting 100 bucks okay it's more like $5 because of all the interest that accrues.
{As a matter of fact, once Savvy lost a tooth down at my mom's--and the tooth fairy came that very night. She was amazed! I told her the tooth fairy in that region must not have many kids to visit.}
Anyhow, I decided...that in order to avoid the poorhouse--and because they are both turning 12 this year...that Savvy & Auz needed to know who the tooth fairy really was.
It didn't go over well.
Especially, when Savvy asked about Santa.
And, then that cat was out of the bag.
Oh. And the Easter Bunny too.
There was a whole lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth.
It was a sad couple of days in our household.
Savvy's confusion of myth or truth came to light a few weeks ago.
We were driving down the freeway, when Savvy saw an advertisement for "A Groundhog's Day Celebration" on a billboard.
"Mom?" she asked, completely serious. "So, is the groundhog seeing his shadow real? Or is that you guys too?"
Would it be all the hilarious Sunday Funnies that have been piling up over the past few months. {There have been some doozies. My kids are quite hilar.}
Nah.
Would it be to journal about our awesome trip to California over Christmas break?
Almost.
Would it be getting released as the RS President in my ward?
{A girl can dream? Can't she?}
Now, granted. All of these could have been worthy causes for bringing my blog back from the dead.
But, the true reason for my rekindled interest in blogging--was the conversation I had with El Jefe this morning...in regards to our recent refinancing of our home.
Me: So, what time is the finance dude coming tonight?
El Jefe: That dude is a lady.
At this point, I went Aerosmith all over the place.
Me (singing): Duh-duh-duh-duh---Dude looks like a lady! Duh-duh-duh-duh---Dude looks like a lady!
El Jefe: Not laughing.
Me: Giggle-snorting for quite some time.
I mean how could he not laugh? I guess he wasn't raised with crazy brothers who listened to Aerosmith like it was true and everlasting gospel.
{Sorry Mom}
{Still laughing, by the way.}
So, that's when I decided that some shenanigans are just too funny not to blog.
{This was taken before the busy-ness hit.
