Crafts, Late Nights, & Plumbers

Saturday night was the ultimate witching hour for finishing up the Fabulous Friday crafts for display on Sunday.

It started out that we were only going to do four crafts (I'd be in charge of two and our fab enrichment leader in charge of two). Then, I felt guilty because we didn't have any inexpensive crafts--so I threw in a couple more. Then, I got this fabulous idea to make a family monogram picture.

One thing led to another and just before midnight on Saturday I was madly trying to finish up 5 not so fabulous crafts.

Of course, at that moment, I hit a crafting roadblock. I needed supplies--and I needed them right then. I did what any girl desperate for crafting supplies at midnight would do--I texted my RS President "CALL ME ASAP IF YOU ARE AWAKE!!"





Luckily, Mary, is as big a night owl as I am. So she called. I gave her my short list of things I needed to finish up my crafties:

A can of colonial red spray paint (which she amazingly enough had the exact same color & brand).

A caulking gun & paintable caulk (which she found without having to wake up her husband--who would've been about as impressed as my husband was with me and my crazy shenanigans).

And water based stain (which she didn't have--but then found on Sunday morning--not that I was still crafting Sunday morning, in the kitchen at the church, during another wards sacrament meeting).





Mary delivered the goods and ended up helping me finish the crafts until about 2 am {I am a wiley one}. At one point we were out on my deck spray painting the family monogram sign--and I said, "That would be awkward if my neighbors were looking out their windows right now." {I was bending over in my low-riding old navy pj's---which, if I 'm not wearing a long shirt, provides quite a show for casual onlookers. Think plumber. Think crack. Think me. Or don't.}



At church, Sunday afternoon, as we were putting on the final touches of our cutie-pie display--my next door neighbor, Petal's husband asked me {with a big grin on his face} what my stance on Sabbath Day observance was. Did I believe it was midnight Saturday to midnight Sunday? Or did it just start when I woke up? Or what?



The jig was up.



Brother Petal had been shutting his boys blinds and noticed my back patio light on. And me. And Mary. {Thankfully, he didn't mention my friend, Mr. Plumber.}






{Ironically, I found out that Brother Petal had actually been up watching movies & playing Xbox till 130 am. It appeared we were both in the same Sabbath Day boat--mine just happened to have red paint sprayed all over it--and the deck--which is another story for another day--and please don't mention it to El Jefe or I will be El Dead-ay}.


PS Dontcha just love a story with pictures? I'll be posting details on how to make the above crafts sometime this week--and by sometime this week--I really mean--sometime before Halloween.

Random Blogging Excuses

Okay. So, I realize that my blogging has been few and far between for the past month. This new job is killing me with the whole new time management saga. I'll be honest, I had poor time management issues before the job. So, you can imagine with my shortened day--the struggles I'm having in just even keeping my kitchen clean.

Then, you throw in my RS calling--and I feel like I've been getting my fanny kicked for the past 2 weeks. I even told my Bishop that I wanted to be called into the nursery--and he informed me that if anyone was getting called to the nursery it was him. So, it's a no-go there.

A couple of weeks ago we had a really fun recipe sharing enrichment which somehow ended up involving me organizing a 150 page cookbook. It was only expected to be around 50 pages--but at the ultimate witching hour (2 days before the event) there was a great outpouring of love {via emailed recipes} for the cook book.

{Of course, I wasn't feeling the love after the 20+ hours I spent formatting the dang thing. But, it did turn out nice--and we do have some FABULOUS cooks in our ward. }

Then, I spent most of last week (okay and most of Saturday night/Sunday morning) getting some cute crafties ready to display for our Fabulous Friday enrichment craft night. I have literally been crafting my little heart out for the past week.

We also had our Visiting Teaching conference on Sunday which required of me to make handouts, visiting teaching cards--oh & singing a song.

Yesterday, I finally had time to blog--and halfway through this post--my mouse stopped working. Who knew that little thing was so necessary to a computer's livelihood?

So, what things have prevented you from
blogging lately?

The Sunday Funnies: Uncensored

Last week, when I picked the kids up from swim team, Aussie said, "I saw two disturbing things in the locker room today."

"Uh-oh," I said. "Did it involve nudity?"

"Yes," he answered. "First I saw a 2 year old running around naked in the locker room. Then I saw an old Japanese guy coming out of the shower. He was all old and wrinkly and he had hair all over his privates."

"Aussie, when you see someone naked you aren't supposed to stare," I said (speaking from experience).

"Okay," he said.

"Hey! There he is!" Aussie shouted, pointing in the direction of the doors.

{Yup. We all stared.}

But, at least he was fully clothed.

*******************************************************************

Tonight after scripture reading, we were having a discussion about the resurrection.

Savvy summed it up best when she said, "So when we get resurrected--we will be in a perfect stage of life, we will see Jesus, and we will be able to pet sharks and not get hurt?"

The Sunday Funnies

Before Sacrament meeting today, one of my friends came up to me and said, "Thurl Bailey loves you!"

"What?" I asked, wondering how he even knew who I was.

"Thurl Bailey. He loves you. He thinks you are so awesome."

"Thurl Bailey?" I questioned, trying to play it cool, in case he was around the corner.

"Not Thurl Bailey, you goof," she said. "You know, **Carol Bailey, in our ward?" (at this point she was laughing hysterically, along with everyone else within hearing distance).

Sigh.

Guess that's as close as I am going to get to

my 15 minutes of fame.

**Name has been changed to protect the innocent

Going Postal

We receive our next door neighbor, Petal's, mail on a regular basis. We don't have the same last name--but our husbands' have the same first name (El Jefe).

You would think the "El Jefe" mail would be the only mistaken mail we get. Nope. It doesn't seem to matter the name...we get the old mail switcharoo

on a regular basis.

It's really not that bad of a gig--I've looked through some pretty great magazines, catalogs--and I always appreciate her Christmas cards...they are friends with some cool people (just kidding, mostly).

Now, don't you fret. It's a two-way street around here. Petal has benefited countless times in receiving my mail--Victoria's Secrets coupons, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, Emergency Preparedness ads--

we are definitely givers.

Usually, I notice the wrong mail and make the transfer before I've even left my mailbox (our mailboxes are side by side). But, occasionally the kids bring in the mail--and it's game over at that point.

{For some reason, my kids and the mail end up like

my socks in the dryer--lost.}

Last Friday, I decided to make a quick trip over to Joann's to check out some crafty things. I brought my coupon that I had received in the mail a week or so ago. As the girl rang up my items, I began to

get my coupon ready.

At that moment, I really and truly promise!

I tell no lie! I noticed that it wasn't my name on the coupon--but Petal's name. I did what any good neighbor would do...I partook of her 40% off savings. I know it was naughty of me--but it was going to expire the next day {besides, I saved 4 whole dollars!}

{And then can I tell you what a good Samaritan Petal's coupon turned out to be? The lady behind me bought over $200 worth of scrapbooking supplies {I've never seen so many scrappy paper pads bought in my life--it was quite amazing} and she forgot her coupon! So, I offered up Petal's coupon--

and she saved $8! }

So, what's the worst thing you've ever stolen

from your neighbor?

Crockpot Apple Dumplings

I brought a crockpot dessert to enrichment tonight and found a fabulous recipe on A Year of Crockpotting blog. I made Apple Dumplings--and it is so easy! Plus-it made my house smell fab (too bad for my family...after smelling the goodness all afternoon they ended up dining on

Kraft Mac n Cheese).

Crockpot Apple Dumplings

2 cans of refrigerated crescent rolls
3 granny smith apples
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sugar
1 cube butter
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup mtn dew (I did use mtn dew--but I think sprite/7up would work fine also)

Directions:

Spray your crock insert with cooking spray.

Peel and core apples.

Roll out the little triangles of crescent rolls. Fill each one with two apple slices & roll it up.

Pile the crockpot high with all of your little dumpling guys.
Melt the stick of butter in the microwave. Whisk in the cup of sugar, and the cinnamon and vanilla. Pour over the dumplings, making sure to get down in the nooks and crannies.

Then add 1 cup of Mountain Dew, the same way---pour it over the top. Prop lid open with a wooden spoon or chopstick and cook on high for 4-5 hours, or until the dough is brown and cooked through. (It only took 4 hours on high for mine to be done).

The Sunday Not-So Funnies

I like to cook. I'm not a fancy chef--but give me a recipe and I can hold my own. I know my limits. I do not make homemade spaghetti sauce, but I do sass my jarred sauce up a bit with seasonings and such {and the family thinks I'm a chef extraordinaire--I manage to throw away the jars before they see where my secret sauce truly comes from}.

I have some tried and true recipes that I love to make--and know they will always turn out. One of those recipes is a French Toast Souffle {it's really a casserole-but I fancied the name up for the kids}. I got this recipe out of my famous Santa Rita ward cookbook in Arizona--it really has some great recipes in it. The French Toast Souffle is delish! My family loves it!

So, when my sis asked what she should have for her baby blessing brunch today--I suggested French Toast Souffle. There was to be a large crowd--so I was to make 2 pans, Jilly was making 2 pans and her sis-in-law was making one pan.

This recipe, required a little bit of preparation the night before--check.

This recipe, required an early riser in the chef--check.

This recipe, required being out of the fridge 1/2 hour before cooking--check.

This recipe required cinnamon, sugar, and butter to be added on top just BEFORE cooking--ERRR NOT CHECK.

I put the souffle into bake at 715 am. When I retrieved it at 810 am--I lovingly took off the tinfoil to look at how nice and puffy it was. At that point, I realized my mistake! Without the cin/sug/butter combo--I had made a very fluffy--but bready-egg-casserole.

I felt like such a loser.

How could I have forgotten this crucial step? Well, I have the recipe memorized -- except for that one part where you sprinkle the yummies on top and bake.
{Curse you, lousy memory!}

With no other options, I grabbed the casseroles, the cinnamon, sugar and stick of butter--and headed to the blessing. The blessing was wonderful--Coach (my bro gave him the nickname), is such a doll.

I ducked out of sacrament meeting early to head to my sissies and fix my dire mistake. I added the necessary ingredients and proceeded to re-bake it. It came out kinda crusty--but luckily it still tasted good.

Moral of the story: Always Consult the Recipe or offer to bring the muffins and juice next time

French Toast Souffle

1 (10oz.) loaf French bread, cut into 1 inch cubes

4 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
8 eggs

3/4 tsp. salt
3 c. milk

Topping:

2 Tbsp. butter or margarine, cubed

3 Tbsp. sugar
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
Place bread cubes in a greased 9x13 inch baking dish. In a bowl, mix beaten eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla and salt. Pour over bread. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Remove from refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Dot with butter. Combine the sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over the top. Cover and bake at 350 for 45 to 50 minutes or until a knife comes out clean after a center insert. Let stand for about 5 minutes before cutting. Serve with warm syrup and fruit.

B.T.S.N. at the Jr High

I had the glorious opportunity to attend Back to School Night at my

daughter's Jr High. It provided me with some sweet observations...

...some good and some not so good.

Observation 1: Time Management

Tardiness never was happiness. I walked in about 10 minutes late to the gathering of Jr high parents and the principal. Towards the back of the auditorium, there were plenty of seats left in the middle...but who wants to climb over everyone? I figured I'd just nonchalantly walk down the side aisle till I saw a spot on the end. As I was quietly walking down the aisle, my BFF, Mary, who was sitting on the BACK ROW and didn't even SAVE me a spot,-shouts out some crack about my tardiness. To add insult to injury, the only seat on an aisle end was 3 rows from the front.

Observation 2: New Math

Middle aged Jr high coach

+his cherished class ring

=Accessories Malfunction

{I could almost understand it if it were a

Superbowl ring or something awesomely sport related--but listen old dude--take advice from an old lady--it is time to move on.}

Observation 3: Old Math

Algebra is a lot harder than I remember. Jay's teacher passed around the book they are using this year...and let's just say I am very grateful to be helping in 4th grade math.

Observation 4: Geography

I took a wrong turn on my way to orchestra--and ended up missing the entire class (okay--so the class was only like 5 minutes...but still--I still felt like a first-day-of-Jr-high dork).

Observation 5: Censorship

All I can say, is it's a good thing I'm not the librarian at the Jr High. My daughter has an assignment in her US History class to read an historical novel. It had to be approved by the teacher. So, I suggested "The Book Thief" to Jay--and sent it in with her to be approved. Teacher said, no--not appropriate. I left it at that. Now, I read said book a year ago...and yes, there is a bit of swearing but its with a German accent so it didn't seem so bad. And yes...it is a little violent but for heaven sakes it's during the holocaust and it is actually written for young adults. And sure...I rationalized that since I had let her read the Twilight series {also for young adults--but, inappropriate}--what was a little book thief? At B.T.S.N., the history teacher said that this was not an appropriate book for teenagers to be reading. It was disturbing. It was rotten. She would not allow it to be read for one of her assignments. Sign me up for the class on: Bad Mothers: And the Books they Read.

Observation 6: Detention

Getting busted while texting in science is embarrassing. There weren't any good seats left in the class, i.e. back row so I stood at the back of the room. I noticed the time and realized that my twins were almost finished with piano. I was supposed to pick them up--but B.T.S.N. was going a lot longer than I anticipated. I texted El Jefe to pick up the kids because I was only in 5th hour. As I was finishing up my text {and I am the slowest texter in the world--El Jefe keeps reminding me not to try to write the great American novel when I text}, the science teacher directed all of the parents' attention to the back corner of the room...so they could see the

homemade periodic table that their children were in the process of making.

I happened to be standing underneath it--

texting.

Class dismissed.

**I Smell the Smell of a Smelly Smell of a Smell that's Smelly

Confession Time:

I'm a morbid mother.

On the way to swim team, there is a certain block of road we travel--that has an awful smell. A smell of epic proportions.

To add to the strange-smell-factor, this smell only exists in the Fall.

Last year, when we first smelled the smell--my kids would cover their noses and hold their breath for the entire stretch of the offensive block. Then, they would moan and whine about taking a different,

less smelly route.

Something had to be done to take their minds of their smelly troubles. So, I did what any good mother would do I told them that someone must be hiding a dead body in one of the surrounding sheds.

Every once in a while, I would make up a story about who the dead body used to be, and who had committed the crime. These stories usually involved the characters we would pass on the way to swim team at one point I even blamed our high school track team.

Winter came, and the smell disappeared. I told the kids that someone must've disposed of the body--and the smelly smell was forgotten.

Until last week.

The smelly smell is back.

Last Tuesday, as soon as we caught the first whiff of smell, Aussie shouted, "There's been a murder! The dead body is back."

I've decided to set up a savings account for the therapy they will need when they become adults.

**Title: from a Spongebob t-shirt I once saw a guy wearing.

The Sunday Funnies

A Bad Influence...

Today in gospel doctrine class, we were discussing the naughty sons of Pahoran (Helaman 1). Our teacher was unsure how to pronounce a the name Paanchi. She asked for assistance.

Hands went up. The suggestion of "Paunchy" was made (and accepted throughout the rest of the hour).

I was sitting on the back row next to my good friend, Petal, and before I could crack my irreverant joke...she said, "Do not even look at me."

She knows me well.

Of course, I ignored her, looked at her, and whispered, "Paunchy ate too many chips."

Giggle-snorts were heard from the back row (okay...we didn't really snort..but I sure wanted to).

**********************************************************

An Historical Influence

This year, Jay is taking a U.S. History Honors class. Last week, she took a U.S. History pre-test--the teacher wanted to gauge the class on their knowledge.

Questions like, what happened on December 7th, 1941 or name a document of freedom were asked.

As I reviewed her test, to see what answers she had missed and which she had gotten correct...I couldn't help but notice her answer on question number 8.

8. Who is thought to be behind the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Her answer? "The Triple K"

"Jay, who are the triple K?" I asked.

"You know, those guys in hoods who don't like black people?" she answered.

Sheesh.

"Ummm. Darling. You are thinking of the Ku Klux Klan--and while they are evil they are not behind the 9/11 attacks."

"Well, who is then?" she asked.

"Osama Bin Laden," I answered.

"Okay. Now, I'm pretty sure he isn't the guy running for president, right?" she replied.

"Right."

Double Sheesh.

Everything I Ever Needed to Know...One More Thing

I'm sure my list of things I learn as a 4th grade aide will grow and grow and grow {infinity} over this next school year.

And I promise not to share each and every one of them mostly because, well--snore. But, also because I'm not sure if my loyal readers need to know how truly inept I am.

But, I have to share this one last thing.

Did you know there is no gum chewing allowed in school? Even for adults?

What a shame. I remember bad-breath-teachers--and ooh doggie did I avoid them like the plague {which explains why I almost failed Chemistry}.

It's a travesty. Truly.

How did I find this out? Well, I got CAUGHT today by one of the students.

In front of the entire class, the little darling loudly announced, "Mrs. H! You are CHEWING gum. There is no gum allowed in school!"

Awkward.

I made a big show of going to the garbage and throwing it away. Then, I thanked her for helping me--because after all--I am new to the school

and their wiley ways.

{Of course, the next time I went in for a sneaky sip of DC in my little room...I popped in another piece of gum--promising myself to be a little more careful.}

So, what have you been caught doing lately?

Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in the Fourth Grade

What I learned during my first week of school as a 4th grade teacher's aide...

4th Grade math is harder than it looks...memo to self: brush up on some fractioning, geometric shapes, prime numbers..it's a lengthy list.

8 am to 12:30 pm is a long time to go without eating...I'm going to call it my "Back to School Diet" (the only problem with my new diet is I'm so hungry by the time I get home that I make up for lost time between the hours of 1-10pm).

Lunch ladies {still} scare me..now there are some tough gals...especially if you forget to follow procedure--or lose 13 lunchboxes.

Some parents think they are above carpool rules {perhaps I should put myself in their shoes...I'm sure that if I drove a big honkin' SUV I'd probably feel like I could park in the carpool lane for undetermined amounts of time whenever I felt like it too.}

At morning drop off, I am so jealous of the mom's still in their PJ's...that was me last year ladies.

At afternoon pick up, I am so jealous of the mom's still in their PJ's...that was {sometimes} me last year ladies.

Power be to the whistle-blower...especially if you accidentally blow it before recess is over...man, the kids are like Pavlov's dog--when they hear the whistle they come a runnin'.

To avoid potential migraines, smuggle in a can of diet coke into my little office--hide it on the bookshelf--and sneak sips as needed.

Sneaking sips of diet coke as needed may result in excessive potty breaks...and if you're going more often than the kids...people are going to talk

{i.e. your daughter:

"Gee mom, you sure go to the bathroom a lot."}.

Working all morning, creates a to-do list the size of Texas. What a quandary! Do I---catch up on google-reader, drink diet coke, blog, clean house, drink diet coke, talk on the phone, do laundry, go grocery shopping, read a book, work on RS handouts/posters, run errands? It is a shenanigan to fit it all in.

I have gotta get out of motherbear mode...whenever I see a kid get in trouble by a teacher..I get little tearies in my eyes unless they are really rotten--and I want but, I refrain to go give them a hug, tell them it's okay, and to try to do better.

So, what have you learned new this school year?