The Sunday Funnies

Last week, I stopped by the library
to pick up some books.

Auz and Savvy's favorite activity isn't to read at the library--but to head straight to the computers so they can play online games.

Trying to be a good parent, I informed them that they needed to find at least one book to read--before playing Poptropica.

"But, Mom. I read the Book of Mormon every day," Austin said. "I don't need another book."

"Auz. I still want you to check out a book," I said.

"But, I like non-fiction!" he argued.

Then the teenager piped in, "Mom! I can't believe you are telling him not to read the Book of Mormon!"

"If he wants to play the computer, he has to check out at least one book to read," I replied.

"Mom! You're evil!" Auz replied.

{I'm afraid he's learned the truth about his mother at a young age.}

An Alarming day at the Library

This afternoon, I stopped by the library to pick up some books on hold.

Auz and Savvy had no desire to go in. So, I told them they could wait in the van. It was a fairly nice day so I opened the sunroof and rolled down their windows.

As I jumped out, I locked the van with my keychain--not thinking about the fact that I had also engaged the alarm.

I had been in the library for about three minutes when I heard a car alarm going off in the parking lot. Figuring it was my two knuckleheads, I speedily checked out and came outside.

Sure enough, Auz had decided to get out of the van and the alarm went off.

I laughed as I saw both of them cowering in the backseat.

Then, Auz told me that a lady had also seen them hiding in the backseat. She asked them what their mom's name was--so she could have me paged in the library or arrested for child neglect.

"And Savvy totally gave up your description and told her your name!" he said.

"You gave my real name? First and last?" I asked.

"Yup," she said. "But, I was under pressure."

It was such a proud moment for a loving, yet neglectful parent.

{I'm so coaching them to give the
neighbor's name next time.}

P.S. Sorry in advance Petal

Boy Howdy...I love this boy!

Tonight, as I was cleaning up dinner, I asked Auz to bring over the dishes on the kitchen table.

I watched him bring over a cup.

Next, he brought over a small plate.

Then, he brought over a fork.

He continued bringing items over one by one until I impatiently said, "For the love, Auz, it's okay to bring over more than one dish at a time."

Auz replied, "Sheesh mom! What do you think I am--an acrobat?"

Happy Mother's Day

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing

Yesterday, I reviewed test corrections with my 4th grade math class.

One of the problems read, "School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she start for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"

Being short on time, I was trying to rush through the corrections and accidentally read,
"School starts at 8:15 a.m. It takes Heather 15 minutes to walk to school. At what time should she fart...errr....I mean...start...for school if she wants to get there 10 minutes early?"

Giggle snorts ensued.

Especially the boys.

And with 7 boys in my class and only 1 girl...it became evident quite quickly that I had
lost. complete. control.

{Through no fault of my own, I have become the class clown.}

The Sunday Funnies

On Thursday, we were at Jordyn's state swim meet...all the day long. Whilst we were there, Savvy called to inform me that there was absolutely no one in the neighborhood who could play. She was so bummed.

Then she added an interesting tidbit about Brother X who answered the door without his shirt on and no "g"'s either!

Savvy said, "I could even see his nibbles!"

"Good grief, Savvy! It's times like these where you avert. your. eyes!" I said.

"And his chest was hairy too," she added. "Not as hairy as daddy's though."

{I know, I know, TMI.}

{P.S. If I ever had a pet rabbit, I'm pretty sure I'd name him Nibbles}

Like Father, Like Indie

Ever since Auzy discovered the Indiana Jones trilogy,
he's become a little obsessed.

He watches it All. Of. The. Time.

Even if we are just driving to school--he has it on listening to every word like it is the true and everlasting gospel.

Last night, I overheard him talking to Savvy.

Auzy asked, "Dontcha think Indiana Jones looks just like Dad?"

Savvy said, "Not really."

"He so does!" Auzy argued.

Savvy sighed.

I had to laugh when I heard his
final argument.

"C'mon Savvy! He does! I mean picture it if Dad was older, his eyes were smaller, he was more muscley, he swore more, he didn't wear glasses, and he had a hat and a whip--he would totally
look like Indiana Jones."