The Sunday Funnies

Our primary presidency gives a FHE lesson and treat to the birthday kids. It just so happens, that Aussie's and Savvy's birthdays are tomorrow {hooray for double digits!} So, today the kids brought home their primary gift. Savvy was quite excited because there was a packet of punch in her kit.

"Mom, can I make it? Can I make it?" she begged. "We didn't even eat our treat last year."

{For the record, last year's treat was microwave popcorn--and we did eat it--just not for a FHE treat}.

"Sure, go ahead." I answered.

At that point, I failed to pay attention to the complicated steps she used in making up her packet of punch. {Okay--so the steps aren't really that complicated...but they are important.}

"Jay, will you taste my punch? It is kinda sour," I overheard Savvy say.

See Jay drink. See Jay's face scrunch up. See Jay perform a fabulous spit-take.

"Savvy! Did you pour the whole packet into one cup?" she asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Ooooh! It's so gross! Did you even add sugar?" Jay said.

"Ummm. Sugar?" she answered.

Who knew making punch could be so difficult? {I guess I should be relieved that she learned how to make it before her 10th birthday. }

Perspective

I substitute taught in my kids class today. I work as a teacher's aide everyday till 1230--so it didn't seem like a big deal when the teacher asked me if I would stay till 3.

Boy, Howdy! It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I have a new appreciation for why my kids' teachers are sometimes grouchy. Plus, my feet are killing me! No wonder {most teachers} do not wear cute shoes to work.

I will admit to being a little overconfident in that I figured I could have those kids wrapped around my little finger--without raising my voice. I had planned on employing the ever popular

bell-ringing procedure .

Genius, really.

First, I asked the class if they thought I was nice. They all said I was did I really leave room for anything else?. Then, I asked them if they would like me to be nice for the rest of the day. They again said yes. Finally, I told them of my expectations {by the way...do you like my step by step instructions--I am implementing what I taught the students today}.

After the expectation speech, respect, listening, paying attention, blah, blah, blah I told them that when I wanted their undivided attention I would ring a bell two times and say, "Class Perfect" and they would assume the perfect position--facing forward, sitting up straight, eyes on me, feet on the floor--etc {hey--it worked like a charm in primary--why wouldn't it work in a 4th grade classroom?}.

Surprisingly enough, the day went pretty smoothly. The bell ringing idea was fab. I had their undivided attention for most of the day until 2:55 when it all went to he!!--because apparently I didn't follow procedure.

But, for the most part, I felt like I had them wrapped around my little finger.

Until we were on our way home from school today.

I asked the twins how I did.

Aussie informed me that *Stan thought my art project which I spent many days stressing about and wanting to make as fabulous as possible was lame.

Savvy told me that the bell ringing "thingy was weird". AND that I was kinda mean especially to the boys it was really only two and I still had them wrapped around my finger--even if it involved minor threats.

Perspective, loyal readers. Perspective.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

When Pumpkins Drink...

My cute Auntie-G forwarded this to me in an email...love it!

New Recipes 101...

When trying out a new recipe...
...save it for a day when your in-laws aren't visiting.

When trying out a new recipe...

...be sure to follow the directions carefully--and use the correct ingredients.

When trying out a new recipe...
...if it calls for Pepperidge Farms seasoned bread crumbs--do not assume that it will be fine to substitute Seasoned Ranch Dressing.

When trying out a new recipe...
...no matter how good it looks and smells--the taste is much more important.

When trying out a new recipe...

...understand that when El Jefe stops at just one serving...it ain't a good sign.

When trying out a new recipe...

...realize that when your father-in-law takes a third serving--at the insistance of his wife--it is only because he thinks you might cry far be it from anyone in my own immediate family to care about my emotional well-being--and for the record I did NOT shed one salty tear.

When trying out a new recipe...

...if it tastes nasty and is beyond inedible--and you make the comment, "I think this is the worst thing I've ever made." Do not be offended when a chorus of, "No, you've made worse," is shouted at the top of their lungs.

So, what's the worst thing you've ever made? Or if you are the perfect chef--what's the best thing

you've ever made?

The Sunday Funnies

Aussie and Savvy went to their first competitive swim meet this weekend in Park City. Good times were abounding--even if the weather was rainy, cold and blah.

After swimming in his first race, Aussie talked to his coach. She gave him a pep talk, and then instructed him to go to the cool down pool and swim a 100 easy {translation: 100 yards nice & slow--FYI: 100 yards is up one length of the pool and back--twice}.

Noticing that Aussie had been cooling down for quite a while, I headed over to the cool down pool. There he was swimming his little heart out.

"Aussie, hop out," I said. As he climbed out of the pool, I asked, "What are you doing, bud?"

"Finishing my laps," he answered. "Coach told me to swim 100 laps and I'm only on 48."

Poor kid.

His cool down needed

a cool down.

Win a Free Handbag

I just read on my good friend, Jolene's, blog about a fun giveaway. Wanna win a free purse? Then click on this link and enter yourself into the contest. I mean, who wouldn't want a new purse? Do you like the one I picked to win? I hope not because it will ruin my odds.

Recipe Book Etiquette

Etiquette Rule #1: When typing up a ward cook book--do not allow recipes to be turned in at the last minute--otherwise your book will go from 10 pages to 150 pages in no time flat--and inevitably there will be shenanigans.

Etiquette Rule #2: Watch for typos. Nobody wants to bake a Chocolate "Mouse" Pie.

Etiquette Rule #3: Correct ingredients are of the utmost importance. 14 teaspoons of lemon extract will pack a powerful punch when the Sugar Cookie recipe calls for only 1 1/2 teaspoons.

Etiquette Rule #4: Copyright laws are null and void when it comes to a ward cookbook at least that's what I plan on telling Cafe Rio, Lion House, Olive Garden & Pampered Chef.

Etiquette Rule #5: I don't care how good a recipe is--you'd better change the name of it if it involves the word "Mole". Regardless of the fancy pronunciation--when I see "Chicken Mole Pizza" it brings to mind nasty visits to the dermatologist. Do you buy them by the pound or what?

Etiquette Rule #6: If you are not sure who the author of a recipe is, it is quite alright to attribute the recipe to your neighbor--she most likely won't notice--probably--unless she reads your blog--which she doesn't.

Etiquette Rule #7: You must save your recipe book document. I repeat. You must save your recipe book document. So then, after you have promised many, many RS ladies an emailed version of the cookbook--you won't have to spend 2 hours reinventing the wheel--you know, the one you already invented the first time around?

Etiquette Rule #8: If you complain enough about your calling--and the business therein such as typing up a monster of a recipe book you will receive a delicious bundt cake from your BFF and it will make breaking all of the above etiquette rules worth every bite. Tally-ho.