The Junk Collector

Yesterday, my brother sent me an email that I'm sure he thought was quite hilarious. And he would be correct. It was pretty funny.

So funny, that I've decided to share it with my loyal readers...who I am sure have dwindled down to one because of my irregular posting.

The email from Z: (background..his car just went kaplooey and he's getting rid of it..piece by piece?)

"You don't want anything out of a Dodge Neon do you? You're makin' stuff out of crap. I've got a perfectly good car you can pull a seat out of, or whatevs. I know, make a sign out of the hood! You can hang it above your garage."

This made me laugh, because yes, I do love collecting junk--especially in my garage.

Why junk? Well, I have always had a great love for making something out of nothing. I enjoy creative projects.

So, whenever I see junky treasures...I see potential and come up with such grand ideas for makeovers that I can hardly contain myself.

Of course, sometimes these ideas don't always come to fruition...hence, the garage full of junk.
You see, I am also procrastinator of epic proportions.

But, I digress...back to the junk...

I've got a garage full of barnwood from my grandpa's barn (El Jefe curses me everytime he pulls his car into the garage).

I have two wonderfully, old doors--also from Grandpa's house. (One is actually in my front room--with a wreath hanging on it. The other door is in my garage waiting for inspiration) or for El Jefe to do what I really want him to do with it--which is hang it sideways--on a 20 foot high wall.

I have the most fabulous bi-fold door that I bought at Home Depot for $5. I planned on making it into a shelf, then a sofa table, then....who knows what...

Two old bar stools...there used to be three--but I made the one into a lovely clock, end table in my craft room

Old windowpanes

A nice collection of 2x4's

Old bricks

A set of dresser drawers...needing to be overhauled

Lots of old cupboard doors..from a salvage shop

Horseshoes (don't ask..cuz I won't tell)

And many more treasures too numerous to mention (plus..if El Jefe finds out about all my secret trash stashes..I have a feeling it will start to disappear---bit by everloving bit).

My email response to dear Z?

"You are such a lunatic (hehe). But, hey, I wouldn't mind having the rearview mirror--I was thinking of putting some vinyl lettering on it and hanging it in my shower--you know to watch for Pscyho killers that sneak up behind me and try to murder me.."

A procrastinatingly, paranoid,

junk collector.

{Just what this world needs}

The Sunday Funnies

Savvy has wart issues of epic proportions. She currently has three large warts on her cute little foot--and the ugliness of it all is stressing her out.

Being the fab mother that I am, I bought her some wart remover sticker stuff forget the fact that when she started out with one smallish one over a year ago and I ignored her complaints--and now they are spreadin' like the dickens.

Today after church, I put the wart stickers on the offending foot. Savvy was quite curious about the inner-workings of said wart stickers--and pretty concerned about the salicylic acid.

So, she picked up the box and began reading aloud the product details. It was pretty standard stuff.

Next, she started to read the ingredients--which she mostly couldn't pronounce.

Finally, she moved onto the warnings. Still reading aloud she said: "Do not use: On moles, warts with hair growing from them {hairy warts provided us the kids with lots of laughter and me with lots of eeeew-disgust}, birthmarks, warts on the face--and gentile warts.

Surely, I knew what was coming next.

"Mom, what's a gentile wart? Like a really big one?" Savvy asked.

For the love.

{I took the box away after that.}

Without Further Ado...

Okay, so we are nearing a month since I said I was starting up my new weight-loss blog.

And I'm sure you all know my excuse is going to be busy-ness². {Truth be told, it took me some time getting the new blog spiffed up. Plus, heck ya I've been busy.}

Excuses aside--

The winner of my blog titling contest...

is none other than...

my mother...
...who doesn't know how to comment on the blogs--but emailed me her title idea:

TEAM SKINNY


I loved every one's suggestions! SO thanks for playing.

Oh--and if you haven't had a chance but would still like to join "Team Skinny" leave a comment.

PS {Here's who I have thus far: Mom, Auntie V, Jen G, Jolene, Pam, Mary E, Jilly, Kelly B, Joanne, Ali, Katie, & Leslie--if I've forgotten anyone let me know.}

PPS {I need your email address to invite you to join the blog. I have every one's email address--except Kelly B's--lost it somewhere along the line--so Kelly B--send it to me.}

PPPS: Dontcha think my Twilight spin for the new blog is nifty? I thought it was just grand...BTW I created it midnight--so I don't want to be judged if its lame-o ...till I told my sis, Jilly about the fabulocity of it all--and she didn't get it.

"Team Edward?" she said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ahem.

Mail Call

You may recall that for my birthday,
El Jefe gave me a giftcard
to Amazon.

Well, lookie what came in the
mail for me the other day...


...Now, I'll be more inspired to
cook my little heart out...

...Make some
darling aprons...

...And catch up on my
family history.

{Like I needed any more hobbies}

Oh--and during my Amazon travels...I almost bought the most hilar book ever for El Jefe {granted...I rarely iron his shirts either...but whatev}

And they lived happily ever after

Last week, Savvy was struggling with a grammar homework assignment.

I happened to be talking on the phone, doing laundry, and making dinner.

So, being the good and attentive mother that I am, I told her to read the directions, do the assignment, and I'd check it over later. {It was just talking about how to write a business letter. I mean, how hard could it be?}

Savvy brought me the completed assignment. As I checked it over, I told her she had done a great job. She had filled in the correct address, the date was present, the salutation was perfect, the body of the letter was quite wonderful...

...And then I came to the closing of the letter. You know, the part where you say,
Sincerely,
Savvy...

Savvy's closing line simply said,

"And they lived happily ever after."

For the Love!

Over the last couple of weeks, I have encountered many a shenanigan. Many of these shenanigans would've proved to be quite hilarious bloggin' topics.

Alas, every day for the past couple of weeks, I have not had a single minute to type them up.

For the love!

Today, I started thinking about all the reasons why I hadn't been blogging. I had an argument within my brain--trying to decide which culprit had been hogging all of my time--hence, stopping me from blogging--was it the job, the calling, the family, or the house?

Of course, it has been all of the above.

Even my poor little weight loss blog--which I promised to begin at the end of January--has been neglected.

Still waiting for a name. {Because, I truly thought each name was quite hilar and I haven't had a chance to decide!} Although, I am leaning towards my mom's name that she emailed me "Team Skinny". I very much adore that name.

So, here I am, blogging about nothing--the fabulous ideas of the last two weeks long forgotten.

{Except for the cutest little shenanigan that happened just the other night--but, I'm tired. I have to get up early. I need to throw in a load of wash. Feed the cat. Yawn. Perhaps I'll share it in another post? Yes. That is what I will do.}

Until then.

The Sunday Funnies

Last night, {about 9 pm} I took Savvy and Aussie to Walmart to pick up a few groceries and a couple of prizes yes, I shamelessly bribed my children to participate in a swim meet.

The kids ended up picking out "Spongebob Legos" and were quite thrilled with their picks.

Once the Legos were bagged, Savvy and Aussie took their sacks and went to sit on a bench (a couple of check outs away) whilst they waited for me.

As I paid at the checkout, I noticed the kids talking to a boy about their age. When I finished, I motioned for them to come hither.

"Who were you talking too?" I asked them.

"Oh. That boy was admiring our Lego sets," Aussie answered. "He thought they were really cool."

Savvy added, "Yeah. Then he asked if we had parents."

Guess he thought they were a couple of independently, wealthy orphans...
...out on a shopping spree.