Shenanigan of the Day--The Pinewood Derby

Pinewood Derby - just hearing the name sends fear into my very soul. Who on earth thought that it would be a good idea to have 8-45 year old boys (let's be honest -- it is mostly a dad thing) pitted against each other in a competetion that is not for the faint of heart (i.e. me)? Yes, it's that time of year. We are getting our pinewood derby cars on Wednesday (for our derby in March).

Last year, was Aussie's first year in scouts and we did the raingutter regata. This wasn't too major in preparing--and our scout master made it very fun for the boys. Even though it was a competition - it didn't feel like one - and Aussie seemed to enjoy it (thank goodness--cause I don't even think we placed in the top 10).

This year, our scoutmaster opted for the derby--which at first I thought sounded like a fun idea. Then I heard one of the scout moms complain that her son needs at least 2 months to make his derby car (and actually requested the derby be pushed back to April).

Let's face it, I'm in trouble here. I'm not a supercompetitive mom - I just want Aussie to have fun (and maybe be ranked in the top 10 - is that so wrong?). But, I don't know the first thing about making a derby car (DH has already turned it over to me--he thinks it's just another craft project and that it should be right up my alley). In all honesty, I don't mind helping with it - but this is no raingutter regatta. People take it very seriously.

So, I began my research today. I was talking to my dear sis Jilly (she is Cubmaster in her ward and they just had their derby last month). I asked her if she had any tips on how to make a winning car. She informed me that since she was really just in charge of the weighing - not the actual building - that she had no clue. But, she did share some very disturbing news with me. She said that when you receive the derby car--it is just a block of wood. Really, it is.

Now, some of you die-hard derby car builders are probably shaking your head in embarrassment for me - but give me a break here - the only derby cars I've seen are the ones Michael's craft store sells - and they are already carved and ready to paint (which sounded like a good plan to me until Jilly said they are lame--and don't go very fast).

I am currently surfing the internet - and have found a few good websites. But, here is my plea to you. I need you to help me--help my son! I don't want Aussie to go down in history as being the boy who came in last place at his first derby--the stigma attached to that alone could require years and years of therapy. So, if you have any--and I mean any--derby ideas on how to make the best car--please post it ASAP!

The Sunday Funnies

Yesterday, during the closing song of President Hinckley's funeral - Savvy asked - "Mom, is the funeral inside of the big mushroom?" (i.e. the tabernacle)

Today, we are having a superbowl party with my brother and sister and their families. The kids have been very excited for this - I mean what's not to love when cousins & good food are involved? Yesterday, I was discussing the menu and festivities with my DH - and Savvy asks, "Dad, who is BYU playing in the Superbowl?"

Jay has a great love for boys and a great love for swimming. Put those two together - and you've got crushes on "hot swim team guys" galore. She has two classifications for these hotties. 1) Hot when wet. 2) Hot when dry. Last week, as I was dropping her off at swim--she saw a guy on her swim team get out of the car in front of us. She scrambled to jump out of the van, so she could catch up to him. Before she ran off, I asked, "So is he a 'hot when dry' or a 'hot when wet'?" "Oh mom" she said, "He's hot when wet and dry!" Obviously, I'm worried about this boy crazy daughter of mine--but I couldn't help but think at least she has a discerning eye?

My Latest Pet Peeve

My latest pet peeve is sick cats and the vets who make us pay for it. A week after we got Elvis he got a cat cold--runny nose, sneezing, cough, runny eyes (who knew there could be such a thing?) So being the humane pet owners that we are (Jill stop laughing at me it's rude!), we took our $80 cat to the vet.

$150 later, Elvis had his meds and we hoped he was on his way to a quick recovery. (By the way, the vet labeled poor Elvis as "failure to thrive" which I didn't appreciate--and it's in his chart forever.) That weekend, our "failure to thrive" cat got progressively worse (I mean, what did they expect - they labeled him and now he was living up to it). He had a serious wheeze. It reminded me of whooping cough. I wondered if there was such a thing as "cat whooping cough (I was afraid the vet would charge me for my stupidity--so I googled "cat whooping cough" and luckily it doesn't exist).

Anyway, I took Elvis into the vet again. Over the phone, they had mentioned doing a fancy $75 chest xray - possibly keeping him overnight with IV's (which DH vetoed on both counts--can you imagine the cost? There really should be animal insurance). So, I had him checked out (with a $100 cap imposed by DH) and they thought he needed IV fluids and a human antibiotic (again who knew?). I allowed for the IV -- and I ended up spending another $50 (not including the prescription - which I decided not to fill because that would've been another $50). At this point, I mentioned to DH that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to buy a cat in our 13th year of marriage. Thankfully, by the next day, he seemed to be doing much better. I guess he was dehydrated.

Last week, I took him in for his immunization shots - another $30. That night, the kids noticed his left eye was practically swollen shut. You can imagine how it thrilled me when I googled it and it said that eye infections in cats are contagious to humans--and the only way to get rid of the infection is to get a prescription at the vet. By the next morning, his eye had miraculously healed. (Savvy said she prayed for Elvis' eye to get better).

Next month, Elvis will be 16 weeks and I'm taking him in to get him neutered, another round of shots, and declawed--with a pricetag totaling $300. Needless to say - if Elvis' medical bills continue - we may have to take out a second mortgage on our house. Either that, or he's going back to Graceland.

My Grams

My cute 91-year-old Grandma is a collector of poems, songs, funny stories and jokes. She has a cute sense of humor and enjoys passing along things from her stash. Everytime I visit, I end up leaving her house with lots of fun trinkets (notebooks, pencils, a couple sacks of food, and this time of year - leftover Christmas candy--which the kids are always thrilled about).

Last week, my sister, Jill, was at her house and Grams gave her this funny little "Things My Mother Taught Me" list. She mentioned to Jill that she planned on making copies for her 4 daughters. Of course, I have the most fabulous sister - and so Jill said "Let me save you the hassle - and email it out for you." Jilly emailed it to me - and it's funny! I thought it was so fun to see that what made my Grandma laugh - also made me laugh. So, enjoy!

Things my mother taught me:
1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you're going to fight, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me religion.
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me logic.
"Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me more logic.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My mother taught me foresight.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me irony.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Close your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
9. My mother taught me about weather.
"This room of your looks like a tornado went through it."
10. My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times."
11. My mother taught me about anticipation.
"Just wait until your father gets home."
12.My mother taught me about receiving.
"You're going to get it when you get home!"
13. My mother taught me medical science.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to stay that way."
14. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your coat on, don't you think I know when you're cold."
15. My mother taught me humor.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
16. My mother taught me how to become an adult.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
17. My mother taught me about genetics.
"You're just like your father."
18. My mother taught me wisdom.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
19. And my favorite...My mother taught me about justice.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

My Grandma has taught me some pretty wonderful things--some of them are on the list above (especially #14). All jokes aside, she has taught me that family is always first. She loves all of us - and would like nothing better then for all family members to drop in and visit anytime. My kids call her "Chocolate Grandma" because she is the notorious chocolate cookie giver (she's accepted the nickname too - so much that she even signs her cards "Love, Chocolate Grams".

Grams has an amazing testimony & truly lives what she believes. She is also amazingly spry for her age. She has a fun sense of humor and she just loves life. Take a look at her weekly schedule-- it would wear me out. Monday she goes to a mini-dinner at the senior citizens center, Tuesday is Ceramics, Wednesday is Temple day, Thursday another mini dinner, and on the first Thursday of every month she helps decorate for the big dinner the next day. Saturday is her catch up day—and then Sunday 3 hours of church. What a great example to me & my family that we shouldn’t be idle—even at 91.

President Hinckley's Legacy

President Hinckley passed away last night around 7 p.m. He was 97 years old. His death didn't come as a big surprise to me. But, I'm still sad--I miss him already. We'll never have another prophet like President Hinckley. He was unique, personable, witty, darling, and fabulous with public relations. He had such a strong testimony of the gospel that you could feel it just by looking into his eyes. Every time I heard him speak, he brought tears to my eyes with his testimony and knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

As I watched the local news run the many reels of film on his life, it was evident that not only had he brought his testimony to the LDS faithful - but he had also brought it to the world. His positive interactions with people not of the Mormon faith (political figures, news reporters, etc.) have created a wonderful legacy for us.

I'll remember him for the twinkle he always seemed to have in his eye, his great example and his love of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'll also remember him for his fun personality, his testimony, his love and drive for building temples, & his start of the perpetual education fund. I'm grateful he's been reunited at last with his dear wife--but I'm still going to miss him. Well done thou good and faithful servant, well done.

The Sunday Funnies

Last Wednesday, as we carpooled to swim team -- Savvy asked - "If Jay's a Beehive then what are the boys called that are her age?" I told her they are Deacons. Then she said, "I know after Jay's a Beehive she'll be a Mermaid - but what are the boys?" I tried not to laugh - as I explained to her that those lovely 14 year old Mermaids were actually Miamaids.

Speaking of little mermaids...
Last Saturday, after we got home from swim team, I dropped the twins off so they could have their showers and get ready for the day (I had to run a quick errand). Savvy and Aussie had their showers and couldn't find a brush (forget the fact that we have 3 brushes roaming somewhere in the house). When I returned, Savvy informed me that she couldn't find a brush. Her hair looked as if it had been combed--so I said, "Well, your hair looks great - what did you use?"
"A fork," she replied.

The Dentist Diet...It's the Rage!

My DH and I are going to Hawaii in 3 weeks. I have known about it for 10 weeks - and have been dieting to no avail. Admittedly - no one should start a diet Thanksgiving weekend - it's bound to fail. Needless to say - the thought of me in any sort of swimwear has been giving me nightmares filled with beached whales and wild laughter.

Thankfully, a new diet has been imposed on me - whether I like it or not. I call it the "Dentist Diet". It's really quite easy to follow. First, you go to the dentist (unassumingly) to get a gum tissue graft. Second, because you have asked no questions about the procedure and done absolutely zilch research - you will be somewhat surprised when the dentist informs you (AFTER the 2 hour procedure) that the recovery is three weeks. This is where the diet begins 3) Recovery includes: within the first week pretty much liquids (since chewing hurts terribly because of the pokey stitches plus the side of your face is so swollen it hurts to open your mouth) - after that 2 more weeks of very soft foods - and remember no chewing on the graft side.

I've been on "The Dentist Diet" since Tuesday - and I'm already down 2 lbs. If I can average 2lbs every 3 days - then according to my higher education math skills (umm...Math 101) that equivilates to approximately 14 lbs by Hawaii. Not bad for a last minute diet.