Friday, November 5, 2010
10 Fun Facts about Being Robbed
2. Tuesday was election day. I was totally planning on voting that afternoon. {I mean, I was seriously informed about the candidates...just ask the dude I wrote in for governor.} Then, I realized I needed my drivers license to vote. Stinkin' thieves must have something against people exercising their civic duty.
3. Since I needed to get my drivers license replaced {see #2}. I had the privilege of going through pain and agony of going to the drivers license bureau...filling out forms, standing in the lines, paying $18...all for a new license...{at least the picture is cuter.}
4. They stole our stinkin' cable that connects our Ipods' to the radio so you can listen to your tunes. I think it would be appropriate to say they totally jacked our jack.
5. I'm secretly thankful that my air compressor has been stolen. Now, I don't have to feel guilty about not using it.
6. Since we had to cancel all of our credit/debit cards, I had no money till my AMEX card came FED EX on Tuesday afternoon. {El Jefe the budgeteer was grateful for the two day spending freeze}.
7. It was heart warming to see the thieves show a little bit of integrity. Even though they stole all of our CD's in the jockey box...they left behind my {LDS} Hilary Weeks CD. The irony. I'm sure they were afraid of accidentally listening to it and being inspired to CTR.
8. The thieves have created a little bit of an obsessive/compulsive disorder in my whole family. I hear the garage door being checked at least 10 times a night. If only they could become obsessive/compulsive about cleaning. Is there such a thing as a cleaning thief?
9. Those opportunistic thieves so picked the wrong garage to break into...I mean seriously...we're white trash surrounded by richies.
10. Speaking of white trash, I'm pretty sure the cops didn't believe me when I told them the thieves totally trashed our garage. Maybe it was the scattered junk--intermingled with the sawdust?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Story of the Great Pumpkin Thieves {minus the pumpkin part}


How's that for a Happy Halloween?
It actually happened on Halloween eve (which was Utah's Halloween night).
El Jefe had forgotten and left his car parked in front of the house. He never locks it cause it's a piece of junk. El Jefe has said many a time, "Not even a thief would want this car."
Well, he was right. The thieves didn't want his car. {After all, the key was in the ignition.} But, they did want his
Once the bandits made it inside the garage, they had a hey-day, seeing as my van also wasn't locked. So, they got away with my purse (with a whole 10 dollars cash in it), CD's, phone and DS chargers.
But, the most insulting thing of all? They stole my makeup-bag. My cheap, full of crappy make-up, bag. {I told the police officer that they picked the cheapest, poorest garage in the neighborhood to rob...I bet they were super disappointed with their limited cache}.
The only high ticket item they stole was my air compressor. Now, that was a serious bummer. I mean, sure I haven't used it in a couple of years...but it was nice to know that if I ever had time to use my nail gun...that I could.
The most disappointing part of this robbery was they didn't even have the creativity to steal a pumpkin off our porch. Haven't they ever watched "The Great Pumpkin Thief?" I'll be honest, if they had stole a pumpkin--it would've made this annoying trick a tiny bit of a treat.
The blockheads.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Consequences
The assignment was given last week.
It is due today.
Naturally, being his mother's son, he started it last night.
After reading it, and laughing out loud a couple of times, I decided I had to share.
Consequences
By Auz H.
Today in Mrs. McCormick’s
Now this is pretty fair punishment--if you think of it like the saying about whether the cup of water is half full or half empty. It’s kind of like thinking that if you have to do twice as much your half empty, or saying at least it’s not three times as much or thrice as much whatever you like--as half full. Also, it could be way worse. It could be 5 pages instead of 5 paragraphs. I’m just saying she could have made it way worse. Now some people would say “but that’s totally unfair it should only be a three paragraph essay since there were only three strikes!” Well those people make me mad. Also, she could have made the due date the next day instead of next week.
Sometimes it’s hard not to talk because LA is basically right when we get to school and we feel the need to talk about all the gossip that has happened since the day before. Something we could do to stop this problem is to save the talking for recess. Another main cause of talking, is when Mrs. McCormick is saying something and it jogs your memory of something that happened over the weekend. People think they have to hurry and say it before they forget. A solution to this problem is either to raise your hand and then share it with the class, or they could just write it down on a piece of paper to save for later.
I think it’s important to not get strikes ever again. Maybe Mrs. McCormick could put up a “BE QUIET” sign up on the board to remind us not to talk. She could give us a warning by pointing at it. Also, I’ve decided that it would be a good idea to just sit quietly while the teacher is talking. If our class will just be quiet, then this extra homework will not happen again.
Monday, November 1, 2010
The Challenge
So, my sis and I saw this challenge and were too late to join in..but decided to tweak it and make it more applicable to our lives.

The prize? Winner buys the loser dinner. {When Jordyn saw the spreadsheet with everything we were challenging ourselves to do...and then found out the prize was "only" dinner, she said, "That is SO not worth it!" Spoken like a true 15 year old!}
One of our daily points we can earn, is writing in your journal. I've never been much of a journal keeper...I am actually the proud owner of several unfinished journals...ranging the span of age 10 to about age 24. At that point, I gave up even trying. Save the trees and all that.
So, I figured the journaling would likely be a no-pointer every day. Then I remembered one thing I'm
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tales of a Cheesy Retro Motel Pool: Part III: The Ringers
Only a few
In the pool, were my two knuckleheads, my dad {who was too nice to say no to the begging}, and three showoffy girls who were doing cartwheels and tricks into the pool.
Grandpa and the twins were having lots of fun diving after dive streamers into the pool, when one of the girls swam over to Savvy and Auz and asked, "What's your names?"
They told her.
Then she said smugly, "Hey, wanna have a race across the pool?"
Savvy and Auz looked at each other and said, "Okay!"
The five of them started at one end and the girl said, "On you mark! Get set! Go!"
The swimming commenced.
Sav and Auz won the race quite easily--and both said, "Let's race again!"
The girl declined.
"Let's do dives instead!" she said.
"Okay," Sav and Auz replied.
My dad and I laughed.
{Those poor girls still didn't realize they were challenging
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tales of a Cheesy Retro Motel Pool Part II: Texting
Last night, two random kids challenged them to a chicken fight.
It was pretty hilarious to watch.
I sent a text to El Jefe informing him of the events.
Me: "First round of the summer games: Chicken fight! H-kids dominate!"
El Jefe: "Awkward."
Me: "The only thing awkward is the chubby chick in the bikini."
El Jefe: "Hopefully she's not the one in the chicken fight."
Me: Giggle-snorting poolside, all alone, looking ridiculous.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Tales from a Cheesy Retro Motel Pool
Last night, Savvy and Auz wanted to swim in the cheesy retro motel pool. Grandpa (my dad) and I took them over.
After a 4 hour car trip--Auz was feeling a little wild. He kept trying to dunk my dad! Luckily, my dad has some serious dunking skills--and ended up being the dunker instead of the dunkee most of the time.
At one point, Auz was trying to get away--and my dad grabbed hold of him around his waist. Auz put his hands above his head like an arrow--and started spinning around in circles. He got away pretty quickly.
My dad said, "You were doing the alligator death roll."
Auz replied, "Yup. I learned it on animal planet."
"Alligator Death Roll" -- who knew?