Phone Calls, Lockerooms & H00TERS! Oh My!

You never can tell what's going to happen when you answer the phone. It's always a dicey proposition...even if you have caller ID.

Last night, I got two strange

phone calls in a row.

Phone rings. I check the caller-ID and its a cell phone number that I don't recognize. This is usually a case for screening..at least for me. But, because I have three children in three different places--I opt to answer it.

Me: "Hello?"

Young Man's Voice: "Are you in the locker room?"

Me {thinking it is some sort of prank call}: "Whaaaat?"

YM's Voice:"Are you in the locker room?" he chuckles.

Me: "Errrr. No." {waiting for the punchline}

YM's Voice: "Then where are you?"

Me {realizing it probably isn't a prank}: "Ummm. Is this Blairbear?"

Blairbear: "Uhhhh. Yah. Who's this?"

Me: This is Nicole. "I think you called the house by mistake. Remember? Jay's cell phone is broken?"

Blairbear {not missing a beat}: "Oh. Well, do you know where Jay is? I can't find her anywhere."

Me: "Why don't you try yelling her name really loud from the door of the locker room {she was just finishing up with swim team}...but don't go in."

Blairbear: "Heh-heh. K."

5 minutes later...

Phone rings. It is my brother Z, who is supposed to be on a business trip somewhere in the U.S. I know I've been told like 5 times where he is but it was information I considered to be on a need to know basis..which I didn't need to know.

Me: Hello?

Bro. Z: Hey, are you nearby your computer? I need some tech help.

Me: Sure. Whatsup.

Bro. Z: Well, I didn't anticipate not being able to find the hotel I'm staying at...so I didn't mapquest it. Or anything.

Me: Where are you?

Bro. Z: Raleigh, North Carolina, Airport.

Me: Nice One.

Bro. Z: I know.

Z proceeds to give me the name of the airport and the coordinates of his hotel. Mapquest just so happens to show he is less than one mile away from his destination.

Me: Dude. Look around its gotta be somewhere.

Bro. Z: I see a H00TERS..could you Mapquest it from the H00TERS?

Me: Hey, I hear H00TERS makes a good burger.

Bro. Z: edited for reasons I am not at liberty to say...but it was pretty funny.

Bro. Z: Wait! Hey. I see my hotel! It's right across the street from H00TERS.

Only a man would be blinded by the

sight of H00TERS.

I Voted Today...Sorta

Too bad they don't make stickers that say,

"I Voted Today...Sorta". I'd totally get one of those. Because I really did try. It just so happened that I wasn't registered to vote.

Awkward. Yes.

Confession Time: I haven't voted since I lived in Arizona--which was over 3 years ago.

I'm not bragging.

But, it's not really my fault. It is stinkin' Arizona's fault. Did you know a drivers license in AZ doesn't expire till you turn 65? That means my drivers license did not expire until 2037. Are you kidding me?

Do you have any idea how great it is to not have to renew your drivers license every 4 years? Well, let me tell you--it is pretty much awesome . There are a couple of hazards though. IF you have an out of state license you cannot register to vote in your state. You also are at risk for a big ole' ticket if you get pulled over...which I managed to avoid by being an extra careful driver.

In August I decided that since it was a presidential election year I'd better get my act together besides I needed to get fingerprinted for my new job and I didn't want the local cops to question the legality of my out of state license.

So, I went to our brand new DMV (it actually opened on the day I went), waited for 2 hours, and walked out with a brand new UT license--and the ugliest picture known to mankind. I even requested to be registered to vote while I was there. Magical, I tell you. Magical.

Except I wasn't really registered.

Which I found out today.

{Luckily, I didn't have to stand in a huge line to find this information out. I walked in to my voters precinct. Glided right up to the desk. Told them my name. Found out I wasn't registered. Got sent to the troublemaker desk where 3 men had formed a "troublemaker" line. Told my story about my false positive registration. Was given a "provisional ballot" which my dad says they will probably only count if the election is close. Filled it out with a black pen no electronic devices for troublemakers. Dropped it in the secret red ballot box>which looked more like a laptop case}

And the rest is history. Only they didn't give me a sticker that said I voted. So, now I'm questioning whether or not my vote really counted. I mean, why did they not give me the sought after sticker?

So, how did voting go in your neck of the woods?

Sure is a Monday

With Daylight Savings finally over, I set a goal to get up early and exercise..because it really wouldn't feel like I was getting up early. I STILL didn't hear the alarm and STILL overslept.

Sure is a Monday.

Savvy woke up this morning and didn't want to go to school...she says she felt wobbley I told her she'd feel wobbley whether she was home or at school and so she'd better get ready.

Sure is a Monday.

Discovered whilst packing lunches this morning, that I am out of Capri Suns hope the kids liked their water bottles.

Sure is a Monday.

Talked on the phone this morning before school to my friend, Natalie, who was getting together with her sister today to craft...and it made me so stinkin' jealous!

Sure is a Monday.

Inadvertently left the door leading to the garage open, and Elvis {our INSIDE cat} escaped thank goodness, it was pretty cold out this morning so he meowed and meowed till Aussie let him in.

Sure is a Monday.

Elvis' meower has been broken for the past couple of days. On the way to school this morning, Jay informed me she thinks it's because he's been licking up laundry detergent droplets off the laundry room floor. Does poisoning a cat break his meower?

Sure is Monday.

Walked around at school ALL morning with my zipper down luckily, my shirt was long and covered it up--I hope

Sure is Monday.

Cleaned the house really, really good on the weekend so I could come home to a clean house all week. Someone missed the memo on picking up after themselves.

So, How was your Monday?

The Sunday Funnies: Halloween Edition

Last week, I was struggling with what to be for Halloween. It was really my first time as an mom where I felt like I had to do a real costume not just a thrown together joke. I mean, I was on morning carpool duty last week for heavensakes...

...I couldn't be half-asked about it.

Of course, my kids had suggestions. Savvy thought I should just go as a Real Soccer player same as last year.

I told her it was a great idea, but that big afro wig was super itchy--and I had to wear my costume for about 6 hours.

"Oh mom, your hair is poofy enough that you wouldn't even need the wig," she answered.

National Blog Month

Did you know that November is National Blog Posting Month? There's even a website for it called NaBloPoMo. It's the month where bloggers everywhere are challenged to post every single day of the month--in hopes you will make it such a habit--that you never miss a day of blogging again.

Really.

{Because Christmas will not

derail your habit at all.}

I tried it last year. The deck was stacked against me, though. I don't think I even found out about it till it was one week into November. Of course, once I found out, I blogged like gangbusters for almost a week.

Then. Something. Happened.

Can't remember what. But, I bet it involved me chasing kids all over the place, doing my RS calling, having a messy house, drinking lots of diet coke, and going over on my cell phone minutes TWO MONTHS in a row. Wait...that's what is happening THIS November. But, whatever the reason, I'm sure I was busy.

So, one of my BFF's, Jolene, reminded me of this challenge and even sent me an invitation to join the NaBloPoMo website...because that's what will really inspire my blogging...me trying to figure out yet another website. I mean, Facebook has nearly killed off all my blogging time just trying to figure out how to upload pics.

So, Loyal Readers, here's to a fun month of daily blogging.

Will you accept the challenge?

Halloween...the Season of Giving (and me receiving)

I realize that typically the month of December is considered the season of giving. But for some reason this year--the month of October--found me on the receiving end of much kindness.

Gettin' Boo'd

We started off the month getting "Booed" by one of our neighbors. After eating our plate of delicious pumpkin chocolate chip cookies we were supposed to make a plate of some lovelies for two neighbors and boo them.

Of course, the "Booing" had to come during my peak time of busy prep work for Fabulous Friday. I thought to myself, "I'll bake up something in a jiffy as soon as this crazy week is over. I'll even make up extras for the girls I visit teach."

Never happened.

The Well-Intentioned Visiting Teaching Treats

Neither did the Visiting Teaching treats just ask Mary that I planned to make for the girls I visit teach. Stellar month, I tell you. Stellar. But, like I said. It was a month of giving (to me) and receiving (from others).

Trunk or Treat True Confessions

After spending hours on Aussie's stinking mummy costume {which later had to be removed with the jaws of life since I had to sew him into the blasted thing. On the night of the trunk or treat, I even made him sleep in it so he could wear it to school the next day. He was so hot and itchy that when he got home from school he BEGGED me to cut him out of it. He couldn't bear another minute.

Aussie summed it up best when he said, "Mom, this is the coolest costume you've ever made me. But, it is a HUGE pain."

Needless to say, for the actual Halloween he put on the old trusty Jedi costume of years past.}

But, I digress.

So, we were totally late to our ward's Trunk or Treat due to costume malfunctions of Mummy proportions. El Jefe was working late and had purple pleasure which meant I was driving oldie goldie--whose trunk still happened to be filled with left-over shenanigans from Fabulous Friday.

Yes, I realize it was a week ago.

Yes, I understand this is a lame excuse.

But, here's my truest confession of the Halloween season: We trunked but we didn't treat --or we treated but we didn't trunk --either way you look at it I benefited from others' kindness/treats yet again.

The Borrower

At the trunk or treat, I saw one of my friends in the most darling Halloween witch costume I had ever seen. The costume was complete with a skirt made out of about 5 different colors of tulle, orange and white polka dotted bloomers and a witch hat to die for.

Coincidentally, I still needed a fabulous costume for school the next day (our school celebrated Halloween on Oct 30 because we were out of school on the 31st) and I had been so busy costuming it up for my kids that I had neglected to find me something.

{I really didn't want to have to resort to wearing this again. The wig was really itchy.}

You see where this is going right? I promise. I couldn't even believe it. The nerve of myself.

"Hey, Leslie. That is the cutest witch costume ever."

"Thanks," she replied, unaware of the tackiness about to take place.

"So...are you wearing it tomorrow?" I asked.

"Nope. Do you want to borrow it?" she kindly offered.

"Well..I'd hate to borrow a brand-new costume that you made just this year and have only worn once...but sheesh, if your going to twist my arm...then sure." I said.

The compliments I received on this costume were astounding! I had women I had never met asking if they could take a picture of me so they could duplicate it next year. At least, I gave credit where credit was due....thanks Les!

And then there was that time when MY Visiting Teacher put me to SHAME

Last week, my visiting teacher told me about the fabulous brain jello mold that she had bought. She knew I was having a Halloween part-ay on Halloween night and wondered if I would like to borrow it?

Of course, I did.

When I went to pick it up, she gave me the brain mold AND a little something she had whipped up, quick-like, for my Halloween part-ay.

She had made me this cute coconut spider cake..complete with licorice legs & jr mint googly eyes.

Thank goodness I still have December--the official?! month of giving..to redeem myself.

A Cousin's Plea

My cuzin Jenny emailed me a blogging request..a question of sorts for my loyal readers. A quandary that she says, "has haunted women throughout the ages".

Her quest involves

the search for:

Not a nice sensitive guy...

...she's already got one.

A babysitter?

Nope. Her famous mom (Auntie G) lives down the street

...as does her sister, Amy.

Loyal Readers, my dearest Jenners is in search of some fabulous mascara.

Jenny says, "I am currently in a very unsatisfying relationship with Revlon Fabulash (despite it's very promising name!), and I can't help myself looking for more. I need the experience, the beauty, the help of the weak-lashed in the feminine blogging world to reach out and help a sista! {Sadly, I need to limit suggestions to the Walmart, Target, ShopKo type products--I don't care what the Republicans say, there's a recession goin' on and there ain't no way I'm talking the DH into $20 stuff to make my eyelashes prettier! A $20 boob job I could talk him into--but eyelashes ain't his thing ! And If you quote me and put that on your blog I'll hunt you down and hurt you! And then so will Toby!"}

Loyal Readers, for years I have used the green and pink cheapy bottle of mascara--obviously I am not a connoisseur of mascara. But, just last week, Jay needed a new bottle of mascara and I was getting low too. I happened to be at Target and found a 2 pack of Colossal mascara for like $8. I bought it and tried it over the weekend. Both me and Jay agree its great--nice and fluffy lashes all the way.

So, what's your favorite mascara? Share!

P.S. Jenn..that boob job comment was just to funny to pass up...and I would daresay that El Jefe would second Toby's motion--in mascara and boob jobs.

P.P.S. Names have been crossed out to protect the innocent.