The Sunday Funnies

Every year my kids participate in a swim meet in Park City.

We all love it...and not entirely because of the swimming...but the extracurricular events that are available afterwards.

{Think: Shopping. Eating. and
Good Times.}

This past weekend was the Park City meet, and it did not disappoint.

The kids swam great on Friday and that evening we headed to Park City's main street to whoop it up with the night crowd.

We ate at a fun little pizza place called the
Red Banjo Pizza.

{I'm pretty sure we saw some famous people there too, because there was a group of pizza patrons wearing sunglasses...while they ate. And they looked pretty incognito, if you ask me.}

In other news, as the kids admired the wall covered in banjos, they said, "Mom, this totally looks like something you would do!"

So, because of this quirky wall......
My decorating skills have now been likened to a cheap pizza parlour's broken banjo wall.

Nice.

And now for the rest of the story...

As El Jefe was ordering our pizzas (the Red Banjo & the Little Belle--delicious by the way), he asked,
"Do you guys do pictures?"

The look on the kids' faces were priceless.

Horrified and puzzled comes to mind.

Apparently, they thought he was asking if our ski instructor/waiter would be interested in taking our formal picture.

While we ate? Hmmm. An interesting concept.

And here all El Jefe really wanted to know was if they sold drinks in pitchers...cuz all that swim-watchin' had made us thirsty.

Hence, the good times.

(the shopping came after the meet on
Saturday...and it was divine).

A Ferret's Life for Me

For the past month, Savvy has been obsessed with getting a ferret. She just loves going to Petco to look at them.

I find them absolutely disgusting.


With her birthday approaching quickly, our daily conversations have gone a bit like this:

Savvy: "Mom, I really, really want a ferret for my birthday."

Me: "Ooh! No! They are so gross!"

Savvy: "Please. I will be so good. I'll practice the violin every day. And I'll wear whatever you tell me to wear. And you can even put my hair in pigtails if you want."

Me: "No. It's not worth it. A ferret is way too stinky...and besides it would probably eat poor Elvis."

Savvy: "Sigh. Okay."

And just when I think I've crushed her hopes and dreams of getting a ferret, the conversation starts over the next day.

So, last week when she told me she wanted to be a ferret for Halloween, I knew she needed a costume intervention.

The Internet seemed like a good place to go.

We went to the Family Fun website, and I told her I would make her ANYTHING on this website she wanted to be.

As we scrolled through the list, we both saw at the same time "Boxers".

We looked at each other and started giggling. Then we clicked on it to see how they could possibly make a costume look like men's boxers...on a family website.

Let's just say it wasn't this that we saw.


It wasn't this either.



But, it was this.

{We giggled-snorted and laughed till we cried.}

I definitely should've taken this as a sign that this costume looking excursion was not going to be a productive one.

But, we pressed forward.

"How bout a bubble bather?" I asked.

"Nah," she said.

"A Jellyfish?"

"Nah."

"Maybe I could be the big, bad wolf?" she said.

Really.

We looked at the costume and she said he wasn't the right color.

There were over a hundred costumes to look at, and she looked at a total of 3 costumes after the wolf: a "Bag of Gross-eries", "Alien Encounter" and a "Little Bearded Gnome".

No princess costumes for this girl.

Finally, we had come to the end of the list.

She said, "Well. If you don't want me to be a ferret. Maybe I could be a devil-ferret?"

She wasn't kidding.

She honestly thought I would like a devil-ferret alternative.

If only she had known, she had actually gone from bad to worse.

That ferret costume is starting to look pretty good now.

A Child's Prayer

Auzy is a very thoughtful pray-er. His night time prayers are always a delight to listen to.

Tonight's dinner prayer did not disappoint.

He prayed that dad would return home safely from work, that the house wouldn't be so hot, that Elvis would be a nice cat...but my favorite quote from Austin's dinner prayer?

"We're thankful for mom that she could take time from her busy life and make us dinner."

I truly love that boy.

{This totally made up for the teasing spree he went on this afternoon}

Chaperoning Crisis Averted, Like Totally

Last week, El Jefe decided it would be quite hilarious to tell our eldest daughter that we were to be chaperones at the upcoming tri-stake dance.

She was beyond mortified.

She wanted to die.

She thought her life would end.

It was all very dramatic.

Then, El Jefe broke out his sweet 80's dance moves...and I think her heart stopped for just a second.

"Dad! You can't be serious! Chaperones do not dance at dances!" she screamed.

Finally, Savvy said, "Jordyn...I can't believe you believe dad. He's smiling. It's not true."

It was a fun little trick...that I assumed she knew was a joke. I mean, her 10 year old sister had it figured out.

So, I kind of forgot about the whole thing, until Saturday night.

The dance started at eight...and Jordyn was nowhere in sight. I figured she must be going to be fashionably late. {Because nobody goes at the time it starts...except maybe the chaperones.}

Around 8:30 pm, I was backing out of the garage and she flagged me down.

"Aren't you and dad chaperoning the dance?" she asked.

"No. That was just a joke," I said, laughing.

"Are you kidding me? Oh! Thank goodness! Let's go Katie," she said to her friend.

{Apparently, the poor thing had been having heart palpitations over the chaperoning business for the past week.}

An Epilogue

ep·i·logue: n. 1. A short addition or concluding section at the end of a literary work, often dealing with the future of its characters. Also called afterword.

This past weekend, Savvy was trying to finish her book, "The Tygrine Cat" so she could work on her book report which is due next week.

On Saturday, I asked her how many pages the book had and she told me 242 pages . On Sunday, I asked her to remind me how many pages the book had and she informed me that she only had to read 235 pages.

"How did the number of pages in your book change?" I asked.

"Because I figured out that seven of those pages were the epilog-you. And I never read the epilog-you," she answered.

"Savvy, first of all, it's not 'epilog-you.' It's
'ep-i-log'," I said. "And second, you have to read the epilogue. It sums everything up, ties it all together and sometimes tells you about what happens in the future to the characters in your book. It's the best part."

(Admittedly, sometimes when I am reading a really boring book...I will skip to the end--read the last chapter and the epilogue if there is one. I like to call it book closure.)

"So do I really have to read the epilog-you?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "You need the closure that only the epilogue provides."

{Enter. Puzzled look here.}

"Okay, mom?" she said.

{They're so obedient at age 10. The teenager would've likely told me I was a geek.}

The Sunday Funnies

On Friday, I had to make a quick stop at Smith's to pick up some last minute things a 24 pack of diet coke for our craft night.

Savvy was with me and as we were leaving the store she noticed a big display of
Monster Energy Drink.

"Wow! That's a lot of alcohol," she said.

"That's not alcohol. It's an energy drink," I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's a drink that revs you all up and makes you hyper," I said.

"Ohhhh. So it's like catnip?" she asked.

{This kid has a one track kitty mind.}

Geneology...we're not doing it

Last week, Auzy came home and wanted me to google our family tree.

"We don't need to google it," I said. "I have it in a file right here."

Of course, then I remembered that El Jefe had reorganized all of our files..and I had no idea where he had filed it.

All afternoon and evening, Auzy begged me, "Please find our family tree, please-oh-please."

"Auzy," I asked. "Why all of a sudden are you interested in our family tree?"

"Because lately everyone has been talking about all the famous people they are related to..and I wanna know what famous people I am related to," he said.

"I can tell you right now we aren't related to anyone famous," I said.

"Oh great," he said, very sadly.

Then I asked him what famous people his friends were related to.

"Well Cardon's uncle started the Creamies ice cream company and Connor's great-great-great (someone) killed Abraham Lincoln," he said.

"Sheesh, you don't want to be related to a murderer do you?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. "If it meant I'd be related to someone famous."

"Auz. I think you are going to have to step up and be the famous one in our family," I told him.

"How about if I become a famous comic strip artist?" he asked.

Works for me.

{Especially if it doesn't involve a life sentence.}