B.T.S.N. at the Jr High

I had the glorious opportunity to attend Back to School Night at my

daughter's Jr High. It provided me with some sweet observations...

...some good and some not so good.

Observation 1: Time Management

Tardiness never was happiness. I walked in about 10 minutes late to the gathering of Jr high parents and the principal. Towards the back of the auditorium, there were plenty of seats left in the middle...but who wants to climb over everyone? I figured I'd just nonchalantly walk down the side aisle till I saw a spot on the end. As I was quietly walking down the aisle, my BFF, Mary, who was sitting on the BACK ROW and didn't even SAVE me a spot,-shouts out some crack about my tardiness. To add insult to injury, the only seat on an aisle end was 3 rows from the front.

Observation 2: New Math

Middle aged Jr high coach

+his cherished class ring

=Accessories Malfunction

{I could almost understand it if it were a

Superbowl ring or something awesomely sport related--but listen old dude--take advice from an old lady--it is time to move on.}

Observation 3: Old Math

Algebra is a lot harder than I remember. Jay's teacher passed around the book they are using this year...and let's just say I am very grateful to be helping in 4th grade math.

Observation 4: Geography

I took a wrong turn on my way to orchestra--and ended up missing the entire class (okay--so the class was only like 5 minutes...but still--I still felt like a first-day-of-Jr-high dork).

Observation 5: Censorship

All I can say, is it's a good thing I'm not the librarian at the Jr High. My daughter has an assignment in her US History class to read an historical novel. It had to be approved by the teacher. So, I suggested "The Book Thief" to Jay--and sent it in with her to be approved. Teacher said, no--not appropriate. I left it at that. Now, I read said book a year ago...and yes, there is a bit of swearing but its with a German accent so it didn't seem so bad. And yes...it is a little violent but for heaven sakes it's during the holocaust and it is actually written for young adults. And sure...I rationalized that since I had let her read the Twilight series {also for young adults--but, inappropriate}--what was a little book thief? At B.T.S.N., the history teacher said that this was not an appropriate book for teenagers to be reading. It was disturbing. It was rotten. She would not allow it to be read for one of her assignments. Sign me up for the class on: Bad Mothers: And the Books they Read.

Observation 6: Detention

Getting busted while texting in science is embarrassing. There weren't any good seats left in the class, i.e. back row so I stood at the back of the room. I noticed the time and realized that my twins were almost finished with piano. I was supposed to pick them up--but B.T.S.N. was going a lot longer than I anticipated. I texted El Jefe to pick up the kids because I was only in 5th hour. As I was finishing up my text {and I am the slowest texter in the world--El Jefe keeps reminding me not to try to write the great American novel when I text}, the science teacher directed all of the parents' attention to the back corner of the room...so they could see the

homemade periodic table that their children were in the process of making.

I happened to be standing underneath it--

texting.

Class dismissed.