I'm such a LOSER!

I really am a big loser - but not in the way you might think . I'm talking a loser of things. Important things. My wedding ring for one. Two years ago I lost it at a stake activity for 11 yr old scouts (I was just dropping off cookies - it's not like I was in charge of teaching them how to dig a hole with their bare hands). Anyway - the missing wedding ring was the bane of my existence. When I couldn't find it at the church - I figured I had lost it at my house. I had been cleaning all morning - and junking tons of stuff. I started looking through the inside garbages - no luck. I even went as far as to go through my outside garbage can - sack by sack. In the Arizona May heat - you can imagine how disgusting this was. Needless to say = I am still ringless today.

Other things I have lost haven't been as major as the wedding ring - but just the fact that it happens on a regular basis is so annoying. I've lost car keys (and then found and then lost and then found), watches, earrings, contact lens cases and contact lenses, glasses, my fancy prescription sunglasses (which were costly-DH maybe you shouldn't be reading this part), my scriptures were lost for 3 months - then found, my wallet, scout patches, Halloween costumes, library books (okay - usually we find the book before we have to pay - except for this last one), screws/bolts for the bunkbeds, phone chargers, immunization records, birth certificates, extension cords, my drivers license, costco card, gift cards, credit cards, cell phone - are you getting the picture yet? I am a complete troublemaker when it comes to keeping track of things. I've even lost birthday & Christmas gifts - due to the fact that I hide them so well I can't even find them.

So what's the latest and greatest thing I've lost? My garage door opener. You may think "who loses a garage door opener" - and I will tell you - it has happened to me once before. Although the last time it happened-- it had fallen on the floor and rolled into the back underneath one of the seats. It was lost for 2 weeks.

This time though I fear it is gone for good. I went to Jay's band concert (she did an excellent job on the violin - by the way) last night with my mom. We went in her car - so I grabbed said garage door opener out of my van as to shut the garage when we left. We arrived at home - and I used it to open the garage door. This is where it gets vague. I thought I had put it in my van - but no. Then I decided it was in the house somewhere - again no (and with the company I have been having my house is so clean there' s not a chance it could be under a clutter pile). I looked through the garage - no - and DH just cleaned it out so it's not under a random DI pile.

I finally decided it must be in the capris I wore last night - some of you may recall my Elvis pants from women's conference last year. I believe that they are the culprits in the case of the missing garage door opener. I was trimming bushes last night in them. They are a bit baggy - and were sloshing around (luckily my shirt was long so there was no improprieties seen). I have this terrible feeling that as I was picking up armfuls of tree limbs and bushes - the garage door opener may have fallen into one of the piles. Of course, I realized this only after the garbage man had taken my garbage away (my mom suggested calling the sanitation dept and asking if any stray garage door openers had been seen at the dump-wishful thinking).

At this point, I am at a loss (no pun intended) of what to do. I will go on the hunt for red october one more time - and offer a reward to my children if one of them finds it - but I fear I will be parking outside until this mess can be solved. Is there a self help group for losers like me. I really feel like I need a 12 step program. I can't for the life of me figure out why losing things is such a problem for me. I mean - I'm not the most organized person - but it's not like we're living in a disaster zone (well - most of the time anyway).

The biggest question remains - where does it all go? Is there lost and found in Area 51 with my name written all over it (talk about a governmental conspiracy theory), has my lost stuff landed in the twilight zone? or the bermuda triangle? When I die, will this all be revealed to me on the replay of my video for all to see? (at least I'd have some closure).

Maybe if I'd just follow my favorite scripture (the irony is great here) and “Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” (D&C 88:119) -then I wouldn't have this issue. Alas - I guess I'll search the house one more time and then pledge to do better.

**Garage door update: My mom just called me tonight - she has found the garage door opener! It was in the passenger side visor - yes, apparently I thought it would be a safe spot to put it so I wouldn't lose it. Duh! But yay for me anyway.