Last Sunday, my home teacher and his wife (my visiting teacher...I know...it's kismet)
spoke in church. Before he began his talk, he started with the usual..."When the Bishop asked us to speak" joke.
{Disclaimer: this one was actually funny.}
HT: "When the Bishop asked us to speak in church last week, I told him we were better at praying than actually giving a talk. Prayers are much shorter than talks and we are not long winded people. Then I told the Bishop that if he wanted to be sure that we took up our allotted time he should
tape a cell phone to the microphone--and then my wife would be able to speak for the
entire hour."
So, what's your best--giving a talk in church joke?
6 comments:
No kidding we had this joke yesterday in church - this guy was getting really old and knew he was going to die soon. So he had his wife go the bank, take out all of his money, put it in a briefcase and put it in the attic so he could get it on his way to heaven. Sure enough he died, and a few days later his wife went up to the attic to see if he'd gotten his briefcase. There is was - just as she'd left it. The wife says to herself, "I knew I should have put it in the basement." Really, heard it yesterday, from the pulpit.
I get up there and my mind goes blank, no jokes ever come out of me!! I can't even think of any funny ones I have heard. My hubby would probably say, "put a keyboard in front of her and she will type away"?? Guess that isn't so funny. :)
We heard a couple in our ward say that the last time they had to speak, they got a ticket on the way to church and were totally late for the meeting. Now that was funny- for me, not them.
I don't think I've ever told a joke before my talks because there really aren't that many good ones out there that I've heard and I don't want to be one of those people that bombs a joke in front of everyone. Besides I always tell them wrong anyway. Knowing my I'd blow the punchline and then I'd be too embarrased to finish my talk. Safer for me to just make a lame comment about my topic or leaving Jon lots of time and move on.
I have been so out of the blogging loop that I am just reading this four days later! I love this Sunday Funny. In the last few weeks, both Jake B and Kelly B have spoken in church so we have had a few funny ones spoken over the pulpit. I'm like Pam, I am afraid of the crickets, of the total silence if I totally bomb a joke so I don't think I could deliver.
This wasn't really meant as a joke, but was still really funny. It happened at a ward in Delta. It was the end of testimony meeting and the last lady who stood up was a crier. You know the type. She said, "Sorry to be such a boob." Scary word to use in sacrament meeting. But then when she was done the bishop stood up to close the meeting and said, "That's okay, Sister _______. We like big boobs here." hahahahahaha!! True story. :)
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