The Talk

Yesterday was D-Day--my DH and I talked in church.

Of course, we have known about it for a month--but naturally I didn't start my talk until Saturday night!

{Okay--so I promise that wasn't my plan--but the month was filled with the biggest bunch of busy shenanigans and the week was filled with even more: enrichment night, RS craft night, a last minute family reunion at my house on the weekend--are you feeling sorry for me yet?}

So, Saturday night, at 630 {with family still reunioning} I barricaded myself in the office and started my talk. {DH was kind of enough to take charge of crowd control (kids) and diet coke refills.}

I worked on it till about 1230 am. Then I got up on Sunday morning at 7 am. I ended up finishing it around 10 am.

At which point, Savvy said, "Wow, mom! You write talks way faster than dad--he's been writing his for 3 weeks!"

{Aren't I just a wonderful role model for my children? heehee}

I really do work best under pressure, so I wasn't feeling to self-conscious at my witching-hour written talk...

...Until after church.

I was complimenting my kids on how great they were during sacrament meeting. No fighting. No going in and out. No well not too much talking.

And then the lovely children whom I gave life to, began to give me the compliments of a lifetime.

Savvy: "You did good mom, but why was your voice so high and squeaky? It sounded like a fake voice."

Aussie: "You did good mom, but I could tell you were really nervous."

Jay: "You did good mom, but did you know your g's were showing on your left shoulder the whole time?"

Nice.

Obviously, there will be no treats for them for the week--and I'm upping the slavery!

The Sunday Funnies

On the way home from Lagoon on Friday night, Savvy and her cousin LeLe were having an lively discussion about the merits of Pokemon Cards vs Littlest Pet Shops. At least that is what I assumed they were talking about.

Then Savvy asked, "Dad, what is the definition of dignity?"

DH said, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I know dignity isn't a bone in your body, but it is something inside of you right?"

DH proceed to give a pretty good off the cuff definition of dignity with me throwing in two cents here and there.

"Oh," Savvy said, "So, it's kind of like honesty and integrity?"

"Yup."

Then the 9 year old and the 8 year old continued their intriguing discussion about parts of the body.

I Heart Tim McGraw

Don't judge me--but I love country music.

{Although I bet I'm one of the few country music lovers who also likes rock, alternative, pop, jazz & even a little classical.}

Ever since high school I've been a country music fan. One of my favorite male country singers is Tim McGraw although I don't agree with his mixing his belief of politics with his fame--that bugs!.

I heart his voice and his songs. Some of my favorites include "Don't Take the Girl", "Something Like That", "Live Like You were Dying", "I Need You", "My Little Girl", "I Like it, I Love it" (ask my kids to sing you the chorus--it's pretty awesome).

This morning, as I drove Jay up to swim team--I heard about this on my favorite radio station (KBULL 93). This story alone made Tim a candidate for my I Heart Thursdays...anyone willing to haul a chubby white guy in a wife beater up on stage so he can be escorted out by security...deserves some kudos.

P.S. Click on the big THIS to read the article and click on the big TIM to see him in action.

A Bird in the Hand

This morning, Savvy came down to breakfast and Aussie said, "Watch out! Don't step in the bird poop!"

"Bird poop?" I asked, highly disgusted.

Savvy answered, "Yah mom, it's been there for like 3 days--when are you going to clean it up?"

So, I investigated the so-called bird poop. Using my brilliant detective skills, I deduced that the brown and white schmear on my tile was actually a few crumbs of my sis-in-laws delicious "Better than sex You Know What" cake.

{But, it did look quite a bit like bird droppings--not to be rude or anything.}

I informed the children {who thinks their mother runs an aviary out of her kitchen} of this and then asked, "So, how exactly would bird poop get in our house?"

Savvy's answer: "I figured maybe a bird flew in the door and (our cat) Elvis ate it--that's why he's so chubby."

Aussie's answer: "If we get flies in our house, why not birds?"

Why not birds?

I'll tell you why. First of all, eeeeew! Disgusting!

Secondly, I have made a covenant {a two way promise as we have learned in FHE} with PETA that if they keep their deeply-loved-yet creepy-disgusting-germ infested-dive bombing-poop dropping-birds out of my house then I will not go

Wimbledon all over the place.

I mean, really.

The Unsinkable Purple Pleasure

One random belt which was fine before the water test fixed: $150

AC Blower Bearings: $300

Replacement of supposedly cracked AC Blower Housing Unit: $150

Getting ripped off to the tune of $600.

Priceless.

Our big purple mini-van was in the shop (again) on Saturday. We seem to be averaging an-every-6-month-plundering-and-pillaging at various mechanics around Utah.

As many times as we have had Purple Pleasure in the shop--you would think we would've found our dream mechanic by now..but alas no.

This time, we took P.P. into Tunex. Our AC blower has been making a lovely high pitched squealing noise--and when it got to be so loud that I couldn't even talk on my cell phone--we decided it was time to get our trusty P.P. into see the doc.

Tunex promised they'd fix our car in no time. A few hours later we picked up P.P. We paid our $150 for a belt that we didn't ask them to fix so they poured water on it & broke it into a million pieces (he claims it's a common test--whatev).

Then DH got into P.P., started her up, and discovered that they hadn't fixed the problem He went back into Tunex and mentioned that the noise was still there.

Tunex dude said, "Oh, yeah. I was going to tell you, I think your blower is going bad--you might want to have that looked at. It will probably only cost around $150."

DH said: "Well, that's actually why we brought it in was to have the blower fixed."

Tunex Dude: "Hmmm. Well, we closed a 1/2 hour ago--you'll have to bring her in next week."

So, we drove home with a brand spankin' new belt..that didn't do a dang thing for P.P's squealing issue.

Today, we took P.P. back in for some fixin' of the blower. A few hours later, they called to say it would be $300. An hour after that, they called to say that the blower's housing unit was cracked which I suspect happened when they took a hammer to it and needed to be replaced--for another $150.

For a salt in the wound moment: Tonight at enrichment, I was telling this shenanigan to my newest BFF, Pam. She told me of the love she had for a great mechanic who was so stinkin' honest -- sometimes he pays you to come to him (well--maybe not quite THAT honest).

She further added lemon into the $600 wound--when she told me the mechanic's location--he's 6 blocks away from Tunex. I guess it is nice to know where I'll be headed in December.

Curse you Tunex!!

Blame it on the brain Sun

On Thursday and Friday, I had the thrilling opportunity to sit during the freakin' hottest time of the day sun for 4 hours watch my darling daughter, Jay, participate in a swim meet.

Jay did great (improving on most of her times) and the two of us had some good bonding moments (okay--mostly I spent my time spying on her and the love of her life...a cute boy on the swim team).

So, here's the thing--Sun+Nicole=Shenanigans. Too much sun makes me physically ill--I mean it really wipes me out. Factor in the whole fair skin thing--and I'm a walking, talking, complaining lobster after 30 minutes.

At the end of the meet Friday, I was feeling pretty good about my interaction with Mr. Sun. It hadn't had any ill effects.

As a matter of fact, I was even feeling good enough to stop by the library and pick up the 3 books I had on hold {Frindle for Aussie, A Lion and a Lamb for me, and The Thirteenth Tale for me}.

I didn't want Jay waiting in the hot van, so I asked her to come into the library with me. She hesitated because she was still channeling her Au natural look in her swimsuit & shorts. But, I promised her we'd be quick -- and so she gave in.

The minute she gave in and shut her locked door behind her...was the minute I realized the keys were still in the ignition. We were locked out--with no cell phone (because why would we need our cell phones in the library when they are contraband?).

Luckily, I had ONE phone number committed to memory--so I called my good friend, Mary and she was able to pick us up and take me home to get a key.

I blame the sun.

Mr. Sun continued to plague me throughout the weekend. You may recall my embarrassing loss of a vital piece of underclothing at my sisters?

I blame the sun.

And then there was today. We had planned to have a family BBQ with my DH's brother and sister-in-law and kids. KT was bringing the beef and I was providing the divinely marinated shish-ka-bob chicken and delectable veggies. M-mmm Good!

There was only one problem. I forgot to make the chicken. Oh sure, I remembered to make my mandarin orange tapioca salad (a crowd pleaser) and my cranberry-spinach green salad. But, the main course? Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

You can bet that as the guests arrived--I placed the blame where it was duly warranted.

Oh that Mr. Sun. He is a tricksy one.

The Sunday Funnies

My Desperate Househusband (thanks JO!) and I are speaking in church next Sunday. DH was the one approached by our first counselor--so he was given our topic.

During Sacrament meeting, I wrote him a note asking "What are we supposed to speak about?"

Knowing that I am not the deepest oar in the ocean--He wrote back, "Teaching the words of Isaiah to your families and relating it to their daily lives."

I'm sure the look on my face was priceless...but I promise...it only took me a minute to know he was joking.

Our real topic? Why are we Members of the Church (obviously--for me at least...it has nothing to do with Isaiah).