The Sunday Funnies

**Last month, I was talking to the kids about something and I said, "Well, that's ironic." Savvy replied, "kinda like the ironic priesthood?"

**My oldest daughter, Jay, has just started wearing nylons. This morning, on the way to church she propped her stocking footed feet up on the seat in front of her. The twins were completely grossed out - "oooh, yuck, get em' away". She tried to explain that her feet were completely covered and that they weren't gross. At that point, Aussie said - she's a frog! she's a frog! She's got webbed feet.

**First let me explain - Savvy has a great love for VW slug-bugs. Daily, we play the "slug bug what color?" game whenever we are in the car. She has such a love for these cars - that she is totally planning on driving a cute lime green bug, with a black sunroof, when she hits high school (oh, the surprise she'll have when she ends up with a sweet avocado green station wagon).

So, last night, on our way to Walmart - we had passed many a slug bug - red ones, silver, and my personal fav - baby blue with a black sunroof. As we're pulling into Walmart - she says - "Mom! Look! A medieval slug bug!" "A what?" I asked. "Mom" she says, "That slug bug is totally medieval - it has a mask and everything." Then I saw the infamous bug - and she was right - it did have on a black mask.

Look What the Cat Dragged In

Santa brought our family a cat for Christmas this year. He is a cute little white kitten with blue eyes. Santa named him Elvis - he even left a note informing the kids of this (which is good because Savvy said she'd rather name him Snowball, Jay wanted to name him Edward and Aussie wanted to name him Meoweth). Needless to say, the kids were very excited, surprised, thrilled beyond belief!

Unfortunately, the mother wasn't so excited, surprised or thrilled beyond belief. Everyone knows I am not much of a pet lover - and especially not a cat lover. Everyone that is - except for my DH. Apparently, he thought I loved cats. Where he got this idea I'll never know.

But, quite honestly, my kids have wanted a pet for a very long time (and DH has been adamantly against having a pet). So, when he told me a couple of weeks before Christmas that he had been on the hunt for a kitten--I was actually excited for the kids. I decided then and there that I could make the ultimate sacrifice-- and become a reformed cat hater.

When I was growing up, we always had a few dogs. But, these weren't really pets you nurtured, cuddled with or even loved. They were more annoying than lovable--always jumping up on you with muddy feet and such. So, I suppose I do come by my dislike of pets honestly. Living in a small town, with brothers and a dad who prefered "hunting dogs" over any other kind of pet--didn't leave much room for fostering a love for kittens. That and the fact that my brothers used the cats for target practice - or a good dog chase - didn't help matters either.


Obviously, Elvis adores me (he's actually curled up at my feet sleeping as I type-I know--it's embarrassing). But seriously, cats can totally sense when a person is not a cat lover - then it spends the rest of its days making it up to you. I mean, I am in my basement and my feet are kinda cold - and here's cute Elvis asleep on my feet. Oh great - I'm going to become one of those people who constantly tell stories about their cats. I wonder if there's a support group I could join--FCHA (former cat haters anonymous)?

My Dysfunctional Book Club

Our ward started up a book club in June. Since it began, it has been a sore spot with me. The books we have read aren't necessarily ones I would choose - and my suggestions have been pretty much ignored. I wanted to give it up early on - but decided to stick with it because when I joined the group I was hoping to broaden my horizons in reading (plus, my RSP informed me that as her 2nd counselor I was in charge of attending all special interest groups).

I have to admit -- it hasn't been a complete waste of time. We did read "The Book Thief" which I thoroughly enjoyed. I also liked "The Peacegiver" by James Ferrell. Of course, I loved "Austenland" by Shannon Hale (after all I was the one who begged for 3 months to read it - and when we finally did everyone else HATED it).

I know the problem stems from the varied backgrounds we all come from. We have three ladies over 60 who only want to read deep and learned books. The other three girls are more my age - but they don't seem to mind the deeper fair that we usually read. It seems that I'm the only one who isn't interested in reading a 700 page deep novel EVERY month. I'm willing to do it once in a while - but I feel like if I'm going to devote a bunch of time (every month) to a deep book that I have a difficult time understanding - it should probably be the scriptures.

My biggest issue is that I know book clubs are supposed to be fun. As a matter of fact, when I tell friends of mine what we're reading and how our turnout is at times very low (last week 3 came) -- they can't believe it because they adore their book groups. My other problem is I have had friends in my neighborhood and ward tell me they would love to join our book club if we were reading books that were a little bit more enjoyable. What can I say - I need this girls on my team! They could totally be my wingmen at book club. My lonely voice has remained unheard long enough!

Okay, so now that this post has turned into more of a rant than a civilized discussion of a book club driving me to the brink of insanity -- I'll get to my point. Next month, we are meeting to plan out our next 6 months of books. I want to be able to suggest books that would appeal to more than just the 4 or 5 of us currently in our book group. I mean, c'mon--we have about 75-80 ladies that could be coming (not that I want that or I'd have to start shopping at Costco for bulk treats and changing our location to the cultural hall at the church).

But seriously, what are some of your favorite books you have read that you've loved? (by the way I'll take any and all suggestions - even if the books are deep because if you liked it then maybe it won't be that bad. See - I'm broadening my horizons one deep book at a time).

Dating for Romo is a big No-No

[My husband has a blog with his family - mostly it's just DH and his brothers doing the posting. They generally talk about politics or sports (insert snore here). Today I decided to spice up DH's blog with a little bit of sports mixed with some pop-culture - and since I haven't had a chance to blog for a few days I thought I'd post it here too.]


Dallas Cowboy football player Tony Romo has women troubles. Not that he can't get a date or anything - it's the dating aftermath everyone's worried about. Last week, with his new girlfriend Jessica Simpson cheering him on -- he totally choked.

It isn't the first time this poor jock has stunk it up while his girlfriend - and a national television audience - has watched. Last year, when then girlfriend, Carrie Underwood (I don't care if she now says they never dated - she's just saving face) - watched his game - he totally stunk it up.

Maybe all Tony Romo needs therapy - and the first question his therapist should ask is, "Are you a little bit country or a little bit rock-and-roll?" Hey inquiring minds want to know.

Christmas Decorations be Gone!

My Christmas decorations are still up and it's killing me! They have been up for so long--that when I take it down I will have to dust it off (I know this because I did take down my tree in the basement on Wednesday and it was very dusty--who thinks to dust their tree over the holidays?).

One of my friends takes down her decor on the afternoon of Christmas day. My sister takes hers down on the 26th - no matter what. This year she was actually sick on her deathbed and STILL took it down in the same timely fashion. I usually shake my head at these borderline OCD Christmas removers - that is until it's January 4th and my Christmas is still haunting me like a bad dream (sugarplums dancing in my head has taken on a whole new meaning).

So, now I'm shaking my head at myself! I need to get my act together! I mean, good grief - Valentine's Day decor has been in the stores for 2 weeks. My goal is always to take it down on New Year's day. But, this New Year's we were madly finishing Aussie's report on Paul Revere because it was due on Thursday (whose idea was it to have a big report due on the day the kids go back to school - I don't care if it was assigned just before Thanksgiving - procrastinators who don't take down their Christmas before January 4th will most likely save a big 3rd grade report for the last minute - it's a proven statistic - I promise).

So, it is with great sadness that I end this post - because the inevitable has to come to pass--no matter what! It is 9:23 am on a slushy January morning - and I have put it off long enough. There is no other choice - Christmas decor be gone!

13th Year Curse Continues...

Oh 13th Year - why hast thou curs-ed me? Any followers of my blog have surely heard of my 13th Cursed Year of Marriage . Definitely not one of our finer years as man and wife. Of course, in the beginning DH wasn't a believer in the 13th year curse until I flooded the house in June, we had to replace the van's transmission in July, the sprinklers went haywire in August and we were hit with a computer virus in September.

Sure in October and November we had some unlucky things happen - but nothing that could compare to the first 6 months of the year - as a matter of fact DH and I had started to believe that our luck was changing. The weekend before Christmas put that belief quickly to rest.

We arrived in Idaho Friday, and the plan was to stay through Sunday or Monday weather permitting - getting home just in time for Christmas Eve. We stayed at my brother-in-law's new fancy and famous home and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. The food was great - ping pong, air hockey and Wii tournaments galore (including a players bracket system - just like March Madness). It was truly magical.

Sunday afternoon DH looked up on weather.com and saw there was going to be a big storm coming in around midnight. We really didn't want to be snowed in for Christmas Eve - so we decided to head home that night. We were at DH's parents and had to head back to his brother's house to pick up our stuff (about 30 minutes away). About 2-3 miles from my brother-in-laws home - the van started making a noise (Remember when you were a kid and you're brother would clothespin a baseball card to the spokes of his wheel to make that cool noise? Well that's the sound the van was making and there was nothing cool about it).

Lucky for us DH's brother & dad were right behind us. Turns out it was the serpentine belt - and on a Sunday night there was no hope for a mechanic to fix it right away. DH's bro towed us to the nearest mechanic shop (which was only 1/2 a mile away). Then we continued on our way to my bro-in-law's house - where it looked like we were staying the night. Thank goodness the auto shop was open on Christmas Eve - or this story wouldn't just be cursed it would be just plain sad too. By 10:30 AM we were on the road - $300 lighter in our pocket - but at least we were homeward bound.

Does the story end here? In a normal year it might - but not in the 13th Year of Marriage. About 2 hours down the road (in a blizzard on snowpacked roads no less), the service engine light came on. We took the van in yesterday and $100 later we found out that there are four error codes for the dang transmission - plus some transmission leaks and a $400 oil leak. We are still under warranty for our 24 karat gold lined transmission - so we are hoping this means no more cost - just a few more headaches.

Fortunately for us, the end is in sight. Come March 17th our unlucky 13th year will come to a screeching halt - and our 14th year will commence. So as 2008 approaches - I'd like to make a toast with my diet coke can held high in the air -- may all the bad luck we have had--never find you and yours--(at least for the next 3 months).

She Lives...

I'm back from my blogging hiatus. You will note my blogging ended about the same time the writers went on strike--I was trying to keep it real. You know how news reporters will go live in a prison for 2 weeks - to see out it is on the inside. Or they go to Iraq and live with the soldiers for a season? That's basically what I was doing.

So, now I'm back - and I'm hopeful the writers and the powers that be will take my cue -- kiss and make up and start writing again. Just in case they don't--I have a few shows up my sleeve that I can start watching. I've been stockpiling them on tivo since September.

In January, if worse comes to worse - I will at least have some new shows to watch. One is "The Women's Murder Club" - it's based on some books by James Patterson. Looks pretty good. I did watch the premiere and I liked it. I also have a 1/2 season worth of "Moonlight" - it's a vampire show - and with all the vampire hoopla I thought I'd give it a try. I was also tivoing Project Runway - until I realized it is on ALL the time and they do tons of marathons of it (plus I was running out of space). Of course, this will all be for naught - if I run out of shows by mid-February and the writers are still on strike.

My DH and I were talking about this the other day. I think if the strike continues long term that television will go completely to reality shows. So now is the time to get your reality TV show ideas pitched to Hollywood. I told my DH we are pretty funny and I think we'd make a great reality TV show. "Mormons in Draper" or something catchy (with my luck HBO would probably think it was a Big Love rip-off and sue us).

So it is a quandary I find myself in with my television viewing practices. My shows from September have left me hanging - and shows I was looking forward too (24 in January) - have been indefinitely postponed. I suppose instead of looking for way to fill my TV viewing quota -- I could take advantage of all the extra free time I have in my evenings and do something productive?? Hmmm?